


Through the Eons

by CaptainRoyalty



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Buckle up kids this is going to be LONG, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, The OTP fic of OTP fics, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-10-04 03:52:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17297246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainRoyalty/pseuds/CaptainRoyalty
Summary: Let’s cut right to the chase. I wanted to write Albert and Chris’ entire romantic history together starting at the very beginning because they make me want to bawl my eyes out. Thank you for joining me on what is surely going to be the journey absolutely nobody asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year everyone. What better way to celebrate the upcoming release of the Resident Evil 2 remaster by writing a multi chaptered slow burn fic that I’m sure is going to be my main project focused on two characters who aren’t even in the game?
> 
> I’m hoping to update this semi-regularly but, you know, I’m garbage so we’ll see how that works out.

January 10th, 1996

The first thing Chris Redfield noticed upon walking into his new office was the loud, distinct ticking of the clock on the wall. The metallic ticking seemed to bounce off of the bare walls and floor, ringing through his ears as he shut the door behind him. The smell of freshly lacquered paint shortly followed and stung his nose with the heavy scent of primer. The carpet still had vacuum lines in it and everything seemed so clean. Crap, when they had said they were cleaning the office before Chris came in, he didn’t know they really meant remodeling. He wondered if they rebuilt their offices from scratch every time someone quit.

It took him a few strides to even reach his desk and set the box of his things down. Was it this nice because he was a part of Alpha team? Or did STARS just have a whole lot of money to blow? This was a lot nicer than he was expecting and certainly more than he thought he deserved. 

Chris opened up the windows to let in fresh air and sunlight streamed in as well, casting a warmth into the chilled office air as well as a shine off of something on his polished desk. His eyes darted and followed the gleam, landing on a gold name plate sitting on the edge of the desk.

Chris Redfield - Alpha Team

His stomach swam for a moment and his chest pulled tightly at the sight of it. He’d seen his name engraved on things plenty of times — his uniforms, old awards — but seeing it so official at this point in his life. It felt weird. It felt good. It felt alien but also felt like something he’d wanted to see since he was a kid. It was a pride mixed and tainted with shame. A sense of dignity stewed in self doubt. 

Chris crossed the floor of his office again and picked up the offending object, surprised at just how heavy it was. Would anyone really need to see it? Chris didn’t really know just how many people would come into the office actually looking for him. He wasn’t really sure if visitors were even really a thing here. STARS was still an alien concept for him and he didn’t really even know how things worked here. He was hired for his strength, his performance, his experience, and his dedication. He was promised the rest would fall in line shortly thereafter. Barry had said he’d get the hang of things in no time. Everyone else on the team was supposedly super friendly and excited to welcome him onto the force. Chris wasn’t so sure.

For the time being, he left it to the side of his desk and decided to focus on unpacking his things. The more he circled around the room tucking things away, the more he realize just how gorgeous the space was. Chris had been expecting a metal cubicle with a fluorescent light and a rodent problem, but was given something nicer than he really thought he’d ever get. It wasn’t huge, but it was cozy. Though it was big enough that he had to cross the room to open the rest of the windows. It had almost a full view of the city below and the mountains above. He could see gray clouds starting to peak over the Arklay range and caught the early scent of rain coming. The gentle wind rustled the few pages of paperwork he had out and caught his eyesight again. His desk sitting near the door was a deep oak and looked so... regal. The kind of desks lawyers used, not a military official. It looked like the kind of desk his dad had placed in their home office growing up.

It didn’t take him long to get the bulk of his stuff out of the box and put away. Then again, he hadn’t really been sure what he needed until Barry told him. The past few weeks had been so rushed this was the first time he felt capable of breathing. He’d brought a box of office supplies — paper, pens, a stapler, things of the sort — and then another box of personal items. In his unpacking, a few drawers of the ornate desk were filled and Chris shrugged, figuring they’d probably be bursting with work soon— at least he hoped. He would hate to be the rookie playing with his dick and having no clue what to do.  

The last of his things, and the only things he was confident in bringing, were framed photos that he gently placed on his desk. It felt so... adult to have family pictures on his desk. Parents were usually the people to have that kind of stuff, right? How many times had he sat in his mom’s office and looked at all the photos of himself, Claire, and the family. Chris tapped his thumb against the edge of the desk, unsure whether to face them outwards for other people to see or inwards so that he could look at them. Claire and his dad smiled back at them, cheeks smeared with grease and a wrench held up in his sister’s hand. His mom sat a few inches away, grinning over a stack of pancakes while sitting in bed on Mother’s Day. There was even a picture of himself, a mirror of his past, where he sat on the couch in between his parents holding his baby sister for the first time. Little pieces of the past — little saved bites of happiness — held onto and stored on his desk. Like open jars or doors to different rooms of his mind. It was nice to see Claire’s face smiling back at him as well as their parents still alive and well.

It had been six years since they passed and Chris wasn’t all too sure if he was okay. He said he was okay, he proclaimed he was fine quite loudly. But his track record didn’t exactly reflect that. There were more than a few comments on his record about drinking too much and mouthing off. He remembered being awake more nights than actually sleeping. And when he did sleep, he couldn’t tell if he’d been dreaming or not. There was a permanent ache living in his chest and it was rooted deep. It reminded Chris of its presence every time he started thinking of them. Every time he started to feel light or happy, it would stab him until the joy was killed and left only guilt behind. But he was okay, or at least he faked it pretty damn well. At least on the surface as long as no one looked into his behavior too much.

For then, Chris decided to focus on the memories themselves and not what they represented. They were happy photos and they were happy times. And the office around him was gorgeous and it was a new job, a fresh start. How in the world he could even think about being sad? Chris stretched his arms upwards and took a deep breath in, feeling the muscles in his abdomen and back extend and the stress leave his neck and shoulders.

“Looks like you already settled in. How do you like the place?” Barry announced his presence with a greeting and a playful knock on the doorway. Chris dropped his arms and smiled, leaning against the edge of the desk and gesturing to the space.

“I’m going to need more crap to put in here. I’m pretty sure if you talk loud enough you’ll get an echo.”

“You can have some of my mess. I have plenty to share.” Barry laughed at his own joke and strode his Chris’ office, turning his head to take in the sight. “Man they really cleaned this place up. You should have seen how it used to look. The last guy here punched a hole in the wall nearly knocked my eye out on the other side.”

“So I take it ‘will not break the office’ was a good special skill on my resume then.”

“That and ‘won’t eat other people’s food’.” Barry clapped a hand on Chris’ shoulder and gave it a few friendly squeezes, picking up the photo of Chris and his family with a smile. “So you like the place?”

“It’s... a lot nicer than I expected. Doesn’t really feel like I belong in here. It’s bigger than the closet I was imagining.”

“Oh come on, you’re too hard on yourself.” Barry set the picture back on the desk and reached over for Chris’ dejected nameplate. He polished the already spotless metal with the cuff of his flannel and turned outward on the desk front and center, catching the light and shining a spotlight on the door. “People get fired from jobs all the time. Happens to the best of us.”

“I was discharged, Barry. That’s kind of a rough stain on a record.” The gleam from the nameplate shone in Chris’ eye again and made his stomach sink. The brief humorous air and feeling of excitement was gone, replaced and overfilled by guilt again. Suddenly, the space seemed too refined. He felt out of place and even though Barry was the only one in the room, Chris felt a hundred pairs of eyes judging and scrutinizing him. He wasn’t sure how Barry had talked Chris’ way into STARS. How he had managed to get Chris on Alpha Team was an even bigger mystery. 

“It happens, Chris. We all make mistakes. You’ve been through a lot the past few years.” Barry’s hand rested on his shoulder once again but this time pulled the younger man into a warm, tight hug against his chest. “Give yourself a break.”

—-

Barry hadn’t lied when he said it had been a rough few years.

The darkness appeared with full force when Chris had only been a senior in high school, playing baseball and deciding which colleges to apply to. Claire was even younger, still in elementary school, proud that she was reading such grown up books. Their family was wonderful. Holidays were always spent together, neither Redfield sibling had to worry about where their next meal was coming from, their parents didn’t really fight. Sure, Chris had gotten in trouble a few times for partying and drinking, but it wasn’t anything that made them hate each other. Yeah his mother had been furious when she caught him sneaking from his dad’s liquor cabinet and he was angry the whole month he was grounded. But he still loved them. He certainly hadn’t wished they would die.

But it happened.

The phone call at eight o’clock at night happened. Falling to the floor with tears extinguishing that once fiery anger happened. Learning that their parents were never going to come home happened. Chris wished he could forget about it and never have to remember the funerals, the moving, the sobbing— but it refused to leave his head. At a time where all his friends were deciding what prom dress to buy or wondering what their graduation gifts were going to be, Chris was trying to glue his entire world back together and worrying about what little was left of his family.

There was no one else to help him. He would have loved to hang out with his friends again and not have to graduate early, but those were saved for people with support systems. He had no uncles, aunts, grandparents— no one to help him. He and Claire were on their own and unless Chris wanted to hand Claire over to the foster system, he was forced into being the glue that held the last two pieces together.

Claire screamed every single time he tried to drop her off at school. She was terrified her big brother wasn’t going to come home either. Every single day was a struggle and a fight to soothe her. She barely ate, she refused to sleep alone, and even when she was near Chris, he could tell she was still in utter terror. Her tiny frame seemed to tremble constantly and tears were seemingly always brimming in her eyes. Claire spent more time in her brother’s arms than she did actually on the ground for the better part of a month. There was no way to feed her that her parents were never going to walk through the door again in a way that didn’t send her into fits of uncontrollable sobbing. Chris knew that if she was removed from him, they both wouldn’t make it.

The Air Force had happily taken him in. They promised to keep him on base so that he wouldn’t be too far away from his sister. They introduced him to the Burtons, a family more than happy to help. They gave him the means to legally taking guardianship of Claire. It gave him something else to think about, something to bury the pain.

There was no room for grief or agony when his muscles were so soar he swore he could hear them groaning. He didn’t have the energy to cry himself to sleep at night as quietly as he could. It became the new normal and slowly, the Chris that had a family, that had parents, that was miserable faded into another sphere. One he could jump back  and forth between, but never mix. He couldn’t afford to do that. It just had a way of leaking into the normal, hardworking sphere sometimes. Moments like those felt like the world was spinning faster than it was supposed to, like the clocks were turning too fast. A few fingers of whiskey usually put them back in their place.

He walked a fine line those years between brother and father. Claire started to recover, Chris made sure she talked to someone. He made sure she was taken care of. She started to go back to normal... if such a thing existed in their new life. 

Claire was a good kid and they got along, it was just figuring out how he was supposed to settle in that gray area. There were times he let her get away with murder and others punished a little too harshly. Thank god Claire was patient on top of good.

Surprisingly his drinking and his attitude hadn’t resulted in his discharge. They seemed to be extremely tolerant of being drunk and pretty lenient about behavior. But that one incident...That had resulted in his discharge. That humiliating display, that incident that never should have happened. It was his fault, his mistake, his... shame. It was a dark cloud — a stain— that hovered over his head and poisoned his reputation. It lived in both spheres and unlike his parents, it knew how to follow him everywhere, regardless of what he did to try and block it out.

It was promised to follow him to every job. He just wondered how many people knew.

—-

Chris laid awake in bed the night after moving into his new office and listened to the quiet creaks of the house. The Redfield family had never owned a large estate, but without his mom and dad, it felt cavernous. Little bumps that used to not even appear on his radar suddenly jolted him upright in bed. When Claire moved around in the middle of the night he was up on his feet, ready to check on her. He double checked every lock in the house and kept the porch light on, feeling as though these things would keep what little was left of his family together.

That night was relatively calm. Chris found himself still lying awake, but not in fear of safety for once. Instead, his eyes remained on the ceiling and followed the blades of the overhead fan, anxious for his meeting the following day. Barry had told him on his way out the door to be prepared to have his first interaction with their captain the next morning. The way Barry had talked about this mysterious man made it sound as though he wasn’t exactly the easiest to get along with.

Although Chris had been hired onto Alpha Team, he hadn’t actually met most of his teammates yet. The hiring process had been oddly formal and held in office while he suffocated in a suit that he hoped didn’t look too big on him. After he’d signed the paperwork he was told the names of his coworkers — Jill, Kevin, Brad — and briefly about his commanding officer.

Albert Wesker.

As the blades of the fan continued to spin, the soft cutting of air spoke into the space of his bedroom. Chris, Chris, Chris— like it was trying to keep him awake, trying to warn him. Cold personalities and hard to swallow attitudes never really meshed well with Chris. He supposed he was too much of a people pleaser. He liked to see smiles and hear thanks, it was validating. Stoic people made him nervous. It made it harder to read if he was actually meeting expectations or failing miserably.

And to add more stress, Chris knew that Albert must have read his file. He must have known what happened. A knot started to form as Chris thought of the various ways his brand new captain would bring it up. Asking what exactly happened, saying he wouldn’t tolerate such indecency, firing him right on the spot—

Or worse, not mentioning it at all and quite possibly silently judging him for his entire career. The cold looks that Chris wouldn’t be able to discern disgust from complacency. Remarks that could sound either neutral or utterly sarcastic. He groaned and flipped onto his side, clutching a pillow to his abdomen and staring at the clock instead of the fan.

The numbers blinked back 2:27 am, glowing a soft green across his cheeks. Chris was not expecting the best in his first meeting with Albert, he was hoping for not the worst. He envisioned a massive hulk of a man, bald by choice with stern eyes and bushy eyebrows. He could picture this Albert sitting at his desk with his arms crossed — biceps bulging and lip twitching — as he listened to Chris blabber on. The sound that man must have made walking up and down the hallways; the thudding of his boots and loud ringing of his keys. Chris imagined he would be on the receiving end of criticism daily and not gently either.

Chris had only ever seen the closed door of Wesker’s office before but it somehow confirmed his theory. It was a darker wood than the others and had the placard for team captains across the top of the name plate.

As Chris closed his eyes, determined to get some kind of rest, the numbers of his clock glowed against his cheeks while the gold name placard in his mind sparkled in the sunlight streaming in through the red curtains.

Alpha Team Captain — Albert Wesker

—-

Even though the young Redfield’s eyes still stung with sleep, he was wide awake standing in front of Wesker’s door. The first thing on his agenda that morning was a 9:00am one on one meeting with his captain but he certainly didn’t need to double check his calendar to know that. The red circle on the day had kept waking him up all through the night.

Stifling a yawn and straightening his posture, Chris raised a hand to knock on the door and wondered what was the worst that could happen. He’d already been hired after all and Albert had to answer to the top of the food chain. And maybe it wasn’t going to be that bad. Maybe Albert somehow brushed his past aside. Maybe he didn’t even bother to look at his file and trusted Chris enough to open up on his own. 

Chris had no clue what he was expecting, but the second the knob clicked and the door opened, everything was set into motion. Unknowingly, that heavy office door with the gold name plate and carved with the STARS logo was a portal. One that he wouldn’t be able to close, something he had no clue of as he stood with his back straight and hands at his sides, dumbfounded and bright eyed.

Albert Wesker was absolutely gorgeous.

The moment his figure appeared int he gap of the doorframe, Chris’ eyes immediately locked with Albert’s gaze. At first, it was just the color that he noticed. They were a blue so deep they looked closer to green. They almost didn’t look real. But what he really caught him was the way Albert looked at him.

Powerful, intelligent, refined— dominant. 

“You must be Christopher. Come in.”

Chris nodded and muttered a quick thank you as he walked in, fingers twitching when Albert closed the door again. His voice was rough and had such a beautiful growl to it. He sounded warm, but domineering. Even then he sounded posh, annunciating every hard and soft sound in his name. 

God the way he said his fucking name.

For a moment, Chris had forgotten to even feel nervous or excited or relieved at all. His entire focus and attention was drawn solely to Albert. His presence commanded, no— demanded his full attention and adoration. How he looked, how he spoke— how he practically stalked behind Chris to prowl back to his desk. Every other feeling shut down. All that was left was want and raw attraction. A kind of drunk that made his eyes follow the man’s smallest of movements as he sat and offered him a seat. Chris accepted — trying not to shake — and kept his gaze directly on Albert’s face while the man fished through the close by drawer, turning the side of his face to Chris’ lustful eyes.

As quickly as the rosy cloud had come, it vanished as he came crashing back to reality the moment Albert pulled a folder onto the surface of the desk with Chris’ own name staring back at him. It looked so offensive sitting in the middle of the rich wood. Everything around it was sleek and black, trimmed with gold. It sat closed, ostentatious, and humiliating, burning its owner without even touching him. Adoration turned back to anxiety as Albert started to speak again.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Christopher.”

“Yeah- I mean, it’s nice to meet you too.” Chris paused and added a quick. “Captain.”

“No need, I only hear that title in meetings. Nervous are we?” Albert’s eyes ran over Chris’ shivering frame with a glance that only made the tremors worse. His pupils were shaded slightly by long, blonde eyelashes. Their stare was sharp but brief, only glancing but gaining everything they needed. “You look uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m alright, I’m sorry.” Chris offered a smile that he knew looked weak at best. And Albert’s expression remained unchanged. Concerned, but only through the light lift in his brow. Doubtful. Scrutinizing. 

“Is it about this?” Albert tapped a knuckle to the top of Chris’ folder before lifting it and looking it over once more, scanning his way down words that Chris couldn’t see but could only imagine. “I won’t lie to you, Christopher. Taking you onto my team with something as serious as this on your record is a gamble. I wasn’t all too sure how to feel about you. However, Barry was quite... persistent and the commanders of STARS truly believe that you’re a fit for this office. I’ll trust their word is still good and assume you’ve grown. I don’t know the extent of what happened, but I’ll trust you not to make that mistake here.”

It took Chris a few moments to realize his file had been opened and was waiting to be read. For a long minute, he’d been locked back in Albert’s blue-green eyes, dying of embarrassment on every word and also hoping he’d speak more. Every word hurt and burned and brought every fear crashing down at his feet, but the way he talked... it was like getting poisoned with nectar.

His eyes glanced down at the paper when he realized where Albert’s gaze had left him. Fear gripped him as tight as ever as he dared to look down. He knew exactly what was going to be said, how his reputation was about to be sealed.

“Discharged for Insubordination.”

His lungs suddenly sprang open and his heart started to race with absolute euphoria. They hadn’t had the balls to write the truth. They had lied about his reasons for dismissal and it didn’t look like there were anymore pages. Chris had to force himself not to laugh with complete relief at the thought he wasn’t totally fucked his first few days in. Insubordination was bad, it was a serious mark on his record regardless, but he would take it over the truth. Instead, he offered a smile — a genuine smile — filled with warmth and, for the first time in years, hope.

“No, Captain. I had time to reflect and regret my decision after being dismissed. It will not happen again.” Chris couldn’t help but hiccup a small laugh and said with a small sigh. “And please, everyone just calls me Chris.”

“Well then, that’s good to hear, Chris.” A fire was somehow lit underneath Albert’s brow and his face completely changed. A harsh stare melted into a soft, endearing one. Lips curved into a gentle smile with pale lips and two small hints of dimples. His whole demeanor shifted from predacious to inviting and comforting. From boss to friend. Chris’ heart sped and seemed to stop. His breath caught.

Albert Wesker was fucking beautiful.

And no matter how many years would past, no matter how hard he would come to try and change it, no matter how much he grow to hate the man, he would always feel exactly the same way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I wanted to get this out a little sooner but I’m starting off 2019 right by getting sick with a bad sinus infection. I’m really hoping to crank out at least a few more chapters before school starts up again! I’m just really happy that people are reading this ;;;;;

“Okay, but what I’m missing is, how am I just hearing about meeting with your teacher now?” Steam rose up from the piping hot skillet as meat was flipped over onto its oily surface, hissing and spitting grease as the man talked. Chris lowered the flame on the stove down just a few notches and turned to look at his sister with a raised eyebrow, tapping a thumb against the counter as he waited for a response with an expecting look.

“I forgot. It happens. It’s not a big deal.” Claire was seated close by next to the sink and tried to peer over her brother’s shoulder as if she was making sure he wasn’t completely butchering dinner. With a slight roll of his eyes, Chris retreated back to the stove with a sigh and gave the nearby pot of vegetables a quick stir.

“Uh huh, well hopefully it won’t be your English teacher telling me you’re as big of a butthead in school as you are at home.”  
“I’ll just tell him my brother’s my role model.” Chris felt Claire’s foot playfully connect with his hip and jiggle against his ribs. He laughed and elbowed her away, pretending to swat at her with the spatula and threatening to completely burn her dinner if she wasn’t careful.

“Hey, instead of sitting where we put food why don’t you set the table, yeah? I’m almost done.”  
Her feet thudded against the tile as she hopped down from the counter with a groan and her toes slapped loudly as she made a point of stomping towards the cabinets only to dramatically fling them open. Chris laughed again and tried to shrug off the worry that was eating at the back of his brain.

This wasn’t the first private meeting he’d been called in for. During Claire’s middle school attendance, Chris had become extremely familiar with the principal’s and the counselor’s office, often times discussing what fight Claire had gotten into that day. More often than not, they would ask if she was adjusting well to viewing him as a parental figure or if they needed any kind of “help” at home. It was a wound to his efforts, but he understood where it was coming from. Are you really fit to take care of your sister? Do you even know what you’re doing?

Though sometimes, those calls from school had been about how Claire was in the nurse’s office bawling and wouldn’t stop until Chris came to get her. Those times, he had practically carried her out of school.

She wasn’t a bad kid. She was a great kid. She’d been getting better over the past few years even. High school seemed to kind of bring her back to her senses. He hadn’t gotten a call to come pick her up early in quite some time and there had only been a few scuffles he’d heard about in recent years. Claire seemed to like school again and a little bit of life had seeped back into her. Sure, she would have rather stayed at home hanging out with her older brother instead of friends, but Chris was sure that was normal. She got pretty good grades, even if she didn’t really seem on planning to go to college, but Chris wasn’t even sure how to broach that subject with a ten foot pole.

What was he supposed to say? Stay in school even though he didn’t and got booted from the Air Force? The best he could do was encourage her to do was to just stay in line. Which she did! 

Most of the time.

Chris was brought back down to reality once the first clack of a plate meeting the table sounded and the steam from the stove started to burn at his eyes. He realized Claire had said something and was waiting for a response with a hand on a hip.

“Sorry, what? I tune out bullshit.”

“You’re so dumb. I was saying, how was your first day?”

“It was fine.”

This time the clatter of the plate hitting the table was louder. Deliberate.

“Okay if I don’t get away with saying that when you me ask how my day was, neither do you.”

Exactly why he was never going to even attempt to force Claire to go to an orientation. She didn’t really stand for any kind of double standard.

Besides, he wasn’t exactly sure if they could afford it.

“It was fi- it was good. Weird. Good.” Chris nodded along with his words as he served dinner onto two plates, giving Claire the bigger — and better prepared — steak between them. He also gave her extra veggies and a little extra gravy. Just for good measure. “Good, new office. Weird, new place where I stick out like a sore thumb. Good, people are nice.

“My coworker Jill actually wants to throw a welcome party for me on Friday.”

“Wow, look at you, Mr. Popular. Your first official day and you’re already getting invited to a party.” Claire took the plate of food from Chris’ outstretched hand with a wink and sat down at the table, waiting for him to join before tearing into her dinner. She asked with a mouthful muffling her words, “Can I go?”

“Depends on how that meeting with your teacher goes.”

“You’re the worst.” Claire fell silent and stared at Chris, knowing there was more that he wasn’t telling her. Even though they were separated by six years in age, Claire seemed to have that weird sibling telepathy that only twins got. She coughed, giving Chris one last non-verbal chance to share more on his own before gesturing and asking, “So what else? You have one coworker, her name is Jill and she’s going to throw you a party all by herself?”

“No, there are others. Barry’s there, you know. Some guys Brad and Joseph.”

“How about that guy you were so nervous about? What’s his name? Albert?”

Just the sound of his name made Chris’ heart picked up a beat. Immediately he was brought back to the image of those green-blue eyes staring him down. One minute he was prey, being examined and pin pointed to the exact moment he could be taken down and devoured. The next, he was a friend and an equal, falling and drowning in a warm buzz he couldn’t quite describe. He tried to keep his voice steady as he answered, cleaning his throat in a hope to hide his shortness of breath.

“He’s nice, straight to the point but, you know, he’s the boss... so...” Chris realized he hadn’t even touched his food yet which had caught Claire’s annoyingly fast attention. In some desperate attempt, he shoved a bite into his mouth and muttered through chews. “Says it’s a gamble to hire me, which I get. But seems willing to leave shit in the past.”

More silence but a slow, knowing grin began to crawl its way onto Claire’s face.

“He’ll probably be there on Friday. You can see for yourself.”

“Hmm. Okay.”

Even though Claire had a smile on her face and seemed to drop the subject, even though she seemed happy and the air was light around her, even though his first day had gone well and everything he said about Albert was the truth—  
The way he looked at Chris was still forefront in his mind. And it was putting a knot in his stomach where the warmth had been.

—-

Friday arrived sooner than Chris anticipated and brought forth a mixture of excitement but also nerves. He had told himself over the past few days that he would try to mingle a little bit with his new teammates so that the party wouldn’t just be walking into a room of mostly strangers. If he at least knew some names that he could put to faces, then, he figured, it wouldn’t be too nerve wracking.

That had been the plan at least. But here he was, walking up to Jill’s front door with Claire and almost no idea who these people were in tow.

“Relax, I’m sure you’re exaggerating. You must have at least seen them.”

“I really haven’t. I’ve been running around doing paperwork, getting fitted for a uniform— I’ve been busy! I haven’t really had a chance to even say hi.” Which was mostly true. There definitely existed pockets in his day where Chris could have ventured out of his office to say hello, but something had kept him grounded. That feeling of still being a stained outsider was a heavy one to shake. He felt like they would immediately know he was some kind of fraud.

“Well I mean, what’s the worst that’s gonna happen? They’re throwing this party for you, right? And you brought your charming little sister so I’m sure they’ll love you.”

Chris felt a little more at ease as he rang the doorbell and instinctively put an arm around Claire’s shoulders. Claire felt warm pressed against his side, like he had brought a piece of home with him. She leaned into him with a big smile on her face, silently encouraging her brother to do the same with a nudge to the chest.

A woman with short brown hair, a knitted white sweater, and equally excited face answered. The house behind her flooded light out onto the dark sidewalk as well as heavenly smells of warm food and a bit of wine on her breath. 

“You must be, Chris! Nice to finally see you stranger. I was starting to think you didn’t exist and Al was seeing how long he could fool us.” Chris had extended a hand for her to shake, but the woman wasted no time pulling him into a hug around the tops of his shoulders before backing away to greet Claire. “I’ve heard so much about you from Barry. Come in, come in, you two must be freezing.”

Chris took a relieved sigh and also a deep breath as he entered through the doorway and into the light. The door closed behind him as he hung both his and Claire’s winter coats on the nearby rack, wondering if he should take off his shoes before walking in further. “Sorry I haven’t had a chance to say hello. I take it you’re Jill?”

“No, I just make it a habit of answering other people’s doors for them.” She tossed a wink over her shoulder as she led Chris and Claire further into the house and towards the noise of other people. Jill seemed nice, right off the bat. He felt bad that he’d been so nervous about meeting her and felt even worse for partially isolating himself like a hermit. But at the same time, he got the impression that it wasn’t any skin off her nose. She reminded him a little bit of Claire. A little bit of their mom. 

As if reading his mind, she paused at the kitchen doorway with a hand on his arm and said, “ And hey, no worries. You should have seen this guy Richard when he first joined. It took him a good few weeks to even smile around anyone else. We thought he was a jerk until we realized he was just shy.”

“Well... I hope no one thinks I’m a jerk yet.”

“If they don’t know now, they will soon.” Claire giggled then jerked away when Chris tried to wriggle a finger in her ear at her comment.

“Nah, you’re fine. Now come on, or else they’ll start thinking you’re trying to be late.” Jill opened the door to the rest of the party, announcing that she had just found two strays out in the cold. Chris had been expecting cold, skeptical eyes — or even just bored ones — but the people in the room seemed happy to see him. It seemed to swell with an excited buzz the second he stepped into the room.

When someone new joined his platoon in the airforce, it had always been met with a curt nod and a handshake. Often times, he didn’t see people for more than a week. They came and went so fast there never really seemed like a point in getting attached. However, that didn’t seem to be the case here. 

Thank god.

“Hey! Nice to meet you man!” Chris was suddenly shaking hands with a man about his age, beaming with a beer in his hand and a firm grip. “I’m Joseph. My office is actually right next door to yours.”

“Nice to meet you too. Sorry we’re a little late.”

“Are you kidding me? Don’t be sorry. You know how many times Al has gotten on me about being late to work? It’s your party, you could’a showed up an hour late and we wouldn’t have been able to say shit. I would have just worried I wore the wrong shirt or that I smelled bad.” 

It felt good to laugh. It felt good to be friendly. It felt good to seemingly start over. That criticism and that shame that Chris had put on himself didn’t seem to be reflected in Joseph, or anyone else at the party for that matter.

Jill made it a point of introducing him to everyone in the room and letting them know to help him out his first few weeks. The rumored Richard seemed excited to have a new face around the office and Bravo’s captain Enrico roped Chris into a conversation with Barry, wondering just what specimen of young man they had dragged into the fray. His new teammate Kenneth had even made plans to go with him to the shooting range on Monday. He felt accepted. He felt like he was starting to fit into the place that was made for him. That there was actually space for him. A part of him had been worried that he was too young or too inexperienced, that these people would wonder why they took on such a greenhorn. He had been worried that they would criticize his every movement and get annoyed by the smallest of mistakes.

Instead, they seemed to jump in with ways to make him feel better. Joseph told the story of how he’d managed to gash open his leg on his first day. Jill yelled when Barry reminded her she still had to replace the coffee pot she’d broken her first month. Chris didn’t realize it at first but he was effortlessly smiling, something he hadn’t done in ages. His grip on Claire’s shoulder had slackened and instead he was standing against the counter with a cold drink and making easy conversation.

Fun had been something that Chris had all but forgotten about for a long time. He didn’t have time for fun. He didn’t have time to go out with friends. He had to be the man of the house and take care of his baby sister. He had to be an adult.

But this felt nice. It felt good to finally take a breath and let his guard down. Floating around the room talking person to person refilled the joy that had been missing in his chest. It made the giant monster of grief sitting on his back actually shut up for once. He felt like he belonged in the world again, if only few a few brief minutes at a time.

“Jill, I can’t thank you enough again. This is really nice.”

“Of course, I’m just glad you and Claire are having fun. I was worried a teenager would be bored in a room full of old people.”  
“I think she’s just happy to get a break from my cooking.”

“I do have a few silly party games planned later so she’s always welcome to join those too. I mean, if you even want to play. I know they can be a little dumb-“

“I’d love to, that sounds like a blast.” A certain thought had been poking around in Chris’ brain however. Not one of grief or criticism — although they did make an appearance after periods of forgetting about them — but one of something being off. A feeling that something was missing. “Is uh, is Captain Wesker planning on coming?”

“Absolutely, he wouldn’t miss it! Don’t let him fool you into thinking he’s some hard ass who hates fun. He’s a total sweetheart.”  
Albert Wesker, a sweetheart. The thought shamefully made Chris’ heart flutter. It matched up with that warm smile he had engraved in Chris’ brain the other day. And he would have been lying if he had said he wasn’t excited to see Albert again. “He told me he’ll be a little late. Don’t worry, night is still young.”

Chris smiled and nodded, but kept a secret thrill that the door would open any moment and the gorgeous blonde man would waltz through it with a grin.

—-

“Okay, okay wait so walk me through this again.” Two hours had slipped by without Chris even noticing. They’d sat down to a wonderful dinner that both Barry and Jill had put together and now were all gathered in Jill’s living room, playing board games. Claire was perched next to Jill, already having decided this woman was her new best friend, and Chris was being grilled by a late arrival, Forest, about his answer to a question from the game. “You fell asleep on your neighbor’s lawn and then woke up in your bath tub?”

“No, no, no. I fell asleep in my bathtub at home, panicked that it was someone else’s house, and then passed out on my neighbor’s lawn thinking it was just safer somehow.”

Forest roared with laughter and Chris couldn’t help but chuckle along. The question was about the craziest birthday he’d ever had. These kinds of stories always brought up the vivid memory of when he turned 17 and practically gave his parents a heart attack when they found him curled up under a bush the next morning. Unsurprisingly, that had been one of the first nights he drank too much. 

“You should have seen our dad’s face. He was so angry his cheeks were purple.” Claire spoke up from her spot next to Jill. “But our mom was like ‘no, no, we all make mistakes, you were his age once’ and while they’re arguing, Chris just— hurls all over-“  
“Okay, I think it’s time we moved past me.” The small crowd in the living room laughed and Chris was relieved when Barry picked up a card to take his turn. He wasn’t angry at Claire in the least, but the last impression he wanted to give his new coworkers was the idea he was some black out drunk. It didn’t give the most professional air.

And... he really didn’t want to talk about their parents. He didn’t want to think about them. Not right now. He was supposed to be having fun.

Chris was so wrapped up in his own mind that he didn’t notice Jill briefly leaving the room to answer a knock at the door he hadn’t heard. He was too focused on squeezing and rubbing his knuckles to block out the thoughts. He was in a happy home, he was away from the sadness of his own house, it was fine, he didn’t have to think about it right now. Just another few sips of beer and he’d be good. It was just a matter of running away from them fast enough and not looking back.  
“Al, we didn’t think you were gonna make it!”

Immediately, Chris’ mental stride went from struggling to racing. His head shot up from his lap and almost as if by instinct, locked eyes with the man he had been secretly waiting all night to see.  
Albert.

The ramming in his chest started up and a nervous, excited buzz surrounded his entire brain. His stomach flipped and almost as soon as it had vanished, the smile on his face reappeared.

“You’ll have to forgive me, the roads by my house are covered in snow. Hopefully I didn’t miss too much.” There was other talk, surely reassuring the man that he’d arrived just in time and there was no need to worry. Chris himself would have said that he was just glad Albert had made it there safely were it not for the fact his breath couldn’t be found. “I trust they’ve been nice to you so far.”

Albert stalked towards Chris’ seat on the couch and the rest of the room seemed to fade into background noise. Chris figured he was just nervous. This was an authority figure, this was his boss. Of course that would make him jittery! It had nothing to do with the way his arm flexed as he took a seat right next to him. There was nothing about the sheer presence he commanded that made Chris stare at him.

“They’ve... been wonderful. Glad you could make it.” Chris didn’t remember opening his mouth to speak, the words just fell out of his mouth. Like Albert was pulling them out with some invisible force.

Jesus, maybe he’d had more to drink than he thought. His face was feeling particularly warm and the buzzing in his brain seemed to spread to the rest of his skin. There was a feeling in his chest he couldn’t place. All he knew was that he just wanted Albert to keep talking.

“Good. I know you were a little hesitant about all this, but it seems you’re fitting in just fine. It’s nice to see.” Albert’s eyes left Chris’ for only a second to glance across the room, but immediately fixated on the brunette again, blissfully locking him in place. “Is that lovely young woman your sister?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s Claire. She really wanted to come and meet everyone. And I... is it lame to say I didn’t have anyone else to bring?”

“Not at all. I think it’s sweet that you two are so close.” Chris’ heart thrummed away as Albert rose from his seat, calling out to the rest of the room for attention. It hammered even harder when Albert started to talk about Chris to the rest of the room. “Since I missed dinner, I guess I’ll have to make a toast here. I promise I’ll let you all get back to fun here in just a moment. I just want to officially welcome our new member.”

Chris could see Claire with that same knowing, mischievous grin she’d had at the breakfast table. She winked at Chris and glanced towards Albert, almost like she was approving. The room started to swell again, but also shrink down. Crap, he really should have slowed down on the booze. Was his chest supposed to feel so hot?

“Chris, I am sure I speak for everyone when I say we are truly happy to have you. I feel like I already know you from how much Barry talks about you. Myself, and everyone here, are looking forward to working with you. You are, what I am sure will be, a great addition to our team and we all have your back.”

As Albert was speaking, Chris’ eyes had started to run up his frame. Slowly, he took in the shape of his legs, the way they tapered into his waist and shifted when he talked. His chest was broad, strong, and looked... warm. His jaw looked like it could cut glass and his extended arm with drink in hand looked carved. His eyes trailed up the pale skin, past the buttons of his shirt, past the curves of his lips and once again, clicked in place with Albert’s eyes, holding their gaze and surrendering.

“Welcome to the team, Chris.”

—-

The cool breeze felt wonderful flowing across his skin. Nice enough to elicit the smallest of purrs from Chris’ mouth as he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow. When had they come home? He couldn’t really remember, Claire had drove. It was fun. Were his shoes still on? Did he lock the back door? Or had they come in through the front door?

Chris laughed quietly at his own idiocy and rolled onto his back, feeling the rest of his bedroom take a moment to catch up with him. He felt like he was floating but also sinking, flying but just suspended a few feet off the ground.

How in the world had he managed to get upstairs and into bed? Wait, shit- the alarm- wait, the next day was Saturday.

Another rustle of leaves brought forth another burst of cool air against his flushed skin as well as another soft mewl. He blinked slowly and let his lids drift almost all the way shut. He could still see a sliver of the ceiling and watched as it seemed to swim. The sheets underneath him felt like they were moving — rubbing — against his body as he laid still. Wait, he shouldn’t lay on his back.

He rolled onto his side and stared out the open window, watching as the leaves of the oak tree out front jostled against the branches. It was freezing outside, there was supposed to be more snow in the early morning, but his skin was too warm. Everything was too warm. Albert’s eyes were so warm.

God, the way he spoke, the way he looked at him. After he had sat back down from that wonderful and lovely little speech, his side had been right against Chris’. He felt so warm and sturdy and strong, like Chris could lean on him and never fall. He had been so tempted to press himself closer, tighter, right against every inch he could. Maybe that’s where the next few drinks had come into place.

Stumbling, but managing to stand, Chris clumsily made his way over to the window with thoughts of the blonde running through his head. He was just glad he didn’t get this drunk when Albert was still there. This was the last few cups on his way out the door that were hitting him. His toes felt weird and stiff against the hard wood. His side felt empty.  
The snow was already starting to drift down as Chris leaned against his elbows on the sill. The breeze tossed a few flakes against his cheeks and one landed on his eye lashes. He wondered how Albert would look dusted in snow. He giggled at the thought. 

In his delirium, a peace settled upon Chris. A knowledge — a comfort — that with how well the evening had gone, perhaps he wasn’t such an outsider. Yes, he still had the same history 45from his last job following him, but no one knew about it. Everyone was so willing and ready to just... accept him. No hazing, no yelling, no scrutinizing— they just trusted he was enough. And it had been fun, so much fun.

Even Albert, who had access to his file and was cautious of Chris’ “insubordination” treated him with nothing but- what would he call that? Respect? Well, yes that was a part of it. He hoped. Kindness? Apparently he was nice to everyone on his team. There was this... warmth. This feeling of a warm fire that burned inside his stomach when Albert was nearby. A feeling of ice finally melting or coming home after a long trip. That feeling had started when Albert had first walked in the door and didn’t stop until he left. All through the rest of the party, regardless if Albert was seated next to Chris or across the room, he felt it. 

His eyes seemed to follow Albert and the buzz didn’t die. Even now alone in his bedroom, Chris could feel it again if he thought hard enough about it. There was so much more he had wanted to say to Albert, so much more he wanted to hear, but the room had been so big and he just... didn’t know what to say. 

A sense of urgency was planted inside him, one that told him to see Albert again. Get that feeling back. Get closer to that feeling. Chris didn’t have a name for it. Didn’t know what to call it. He felt stupid trying to even analyze it this closely. There was no deeper meaning or emotion he wasn’t considering. He was just drunk and happy. He probably just really wanted his captain’s approval. Something like that.

With a nod and a yawn, Chris straightened himself up and closed the window to finally stumble back into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll get this out by the afternoon I said. I can commit to a schedule I said. It is now midnight and I’m just getting around to this. Let no one fool you into thinking I’m a responsible adult.

Chris spent the rest of his weekend, mostly, at home with Claire, save for a few errands and late night walks. Claire had some schoolwork she needed help with and there were some chores around the house that Chris needed to get done. There was also the massive hangover he nursed most of Saturday that hit him like a freight train. 

Chris hadn’t thought he’d gotten that drunk at Jill’s, but there he was at nine in the morning, trembling in his bathroom and drinking directly from the faucet to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth.

At least he was able to puke quietly so that Claire didn’t hear it. It was a skill he had honed when he’d first started going to parties in high school. But back then, it was so his parents didn’t ask any questions.

Still, even with a headache gnawing at his temples and his stomach on rocks, Chris found himself still in a good mood from the night prior. A good mood that carried all the way through Sunday and into Monday morning.

The smiles on everyone’s faces, the genuine laughter, the sense of belonging — all of it stayed with him and seemed to be cuddled up against his heart. His step seemed a little lighter, his breath came easier, and he noticed that he was looking up when he walked instead of down at the ground examining cracks in the sidewalk. Maybe it was silly to be so elated about a welcome party. Maybe this was how it was with regular offices. Chris didn’t know and didn’t care. This was his first “grown up” job and the fact everyone was making such an effort to make him feel welcome meant the absolute world to him.

And he would have been lying if he said Albert wasn’t at least partially responsible for that happiness.

All through the weekend, when Chris would stop thinking about his new friends, Albert would slip into his head. His smile, his eyes, and the very way he carried himself sent a sharp jolt all the way down Chris’ spine. There was something about him that fully commanded his attention, even when he wasn’t around. He knew he shouldn’t think about him, knew very well why he shouldn’t have been entertaining the thoughts at all, but instead, Chris chose to play dumb with himself.

It felt so much better to just pretend he had no clue why he was constantly thinking about the man. There was no guilt if he just figured he wasn’t smart enough to clue into why he thought about Albert’s face so much. The only time he started to bring excuses in was when Albert’s... physique would come into play. Then that required some mental gymnastics, but nothing the “I’m only admiring because I wish I looked like that” excuse couldn’t mend.

But it certainly didn’t send him marching straight into Albert’s door. The opposite actually. Throughout the following few days, Chris made an effort to spend more one-on-one time with his fellow teammates. He took Forest up on his offer to go to the shooting range, he had lunch with Jill a few times, and even went out to have a few drinks with Kenneth and Joseph. He was getting closer to those his life literally depended on.  
But Albert remained untouched.

Every time he thought about simply stopping by his office to say hello, his stomach would clench and his legs would start to quake. His brain would tell him to just knock on the door and ask about his day, but his body would force him to walk past as quickly as it could. Thinking about him and making excuses for it was one thing. Actually being around him and trying to stay composed was another thing entirely. The past two times Albert had been near Chris, Chris had become hyper aware of his actions, his speech— everything. And it wouldn’t be until a few hours later that he would start analyzing every little thing that came out of his mouth.

Albert was so... refined. Professional. Adult. Chris felt like a stupid kid in front of him. Even if Albert didn’t — or pretended not— to notice, Chris was all too aware of how far behind he was from Albert. He bet that his captain didn’t have any kinds of stains on his record and was an excellent student all through school. Hell, he probably went to college too. 

He knew he couldn’t avoid Albert forever, but it was easy enough for about a week. Chris was still in training so he was by himself most of the day, save for the times he sought out company from fellow teammates. He kept telling himself that he would talk to Albert tomorrow, the next day, over the weekend, okay Monday. He knew that Albert was his captain after all, so avoiding him and pretending that he didn’t exist outside of brief, necessary interactions wasn’t exactly going to work. Not to mention, he didn’t want to be rude and remain horribly distant. Albert seemed like a nice guy that he wanted to befriend.

It was just... exhausting enough to fight back the guilt about the thoughts alone. Adding more thoughts and more feelings? He felt like he might break.

—-

Funny enough, what finally broke Chris’ resolve was the guilt from avoiding Albert won over the guilt of repressed emotions. And he managed to convince himself, nearly a week and a half later, that he was just being stupid. He had begun to believe his own lies. Albert was an authority figure with a mature air and that just intimidated him. There was nothing more existing there.

On that Wednesday afternoon as Chris was walking back to his office from lunch, he promised himself that he was going to — at the very least — catch Albert in the hallway and say hello. Probably make up an excuse as to why Albert hadn’t seen him as well.

Chris had already started listing off various lies he could feed Albert, when his step slowed the closer he got to Albert’s door. There was a sound, faint but familiar, that came from the open crack in the threshold. A twangy guitar and sharp drum, with a soft, but still powerful voice leading it all.

‘Burn out the day, burn out the night, I can’t see no reason to put up a fight’

He sought out the music until it led him straight to Albert’s cracked office door. Chris bravely knocked, waiting until Albert’s voice sounded with a “come in” and thus found himself entering the room he’d been running away from.

Only for a second did the hammering of his heart prevent him from talking. The stupid look on his face made him realize he needed to say something and not just drool onto Albert’s carpet.

God, Albert looked good in button ups.

“Is that... sorry, to bug you, is that Blue Oyster Cult? That you’re listening to?”

“You can hear it from the hallway? I’ll turn it down-“

“No! I mean no, please. It’s fine. You can barely make it out. And besides, I like it.” Chris shrugged. “I just grew up on them so I can sniff them out whenever I hear them.”

“Well, I feel old. Most of my late twenties was spent listening to Blue Oyster. And you were just a kid I’m assuming.” Albert was smiling, joking, seemingly not even upset that Chris had just barged in. Tentatively, he took another step in and let the door start to close behind him. “Or did someone introduce you to them late? I’m hoping for the latter.”

“Nope, out of luck, old man. I remember my dad driving me to school while listening to them in the backseat.” Chris took another step forward but couldn’t bring himself to sit without an invitation. He may have entered without really asking but he wasn’t going to just assume Albert was free to waste time socializing with him. But it was easy enough to slip into a conversation with him. Easier than he’d been anticipating. “I was still in a car seat too.”

“Watch it, it’s not too late for me to defer your employment.” It took Albert only a few seconds of staring at Chris’ suddenly pale white face for him to hurriedly add on. “Chris, I’m joking. I’m not that vain.”

“Oh- yeah! Yeah, of course! I knew you were joking.”

“You can have a seat if you’d like. Is there something you needed from me?”

“Not really. I just, thought I’d say hi. I haven’t seen you much. I’ve been busy.” Chris sank into the chair seated in front of Albert’s desk and looked at the shelves behind him. The bookcase had been built into the back wall of the office and was neatly organized with books, photos, and, from the looks of it, a few awards. Secretly, he wanted to stand right back up to see everything. What cases he had stowed, what books he chose to keep close, what the medals were for, but he didn’t want to go prying without permission. 

“I can imagine. The first few weeks are always the hardest. You should have seen me when I was first brought on. I was a wreck.” Albert had put down his pen and was now giving his full attention to the man across from him, causing Chris to snap his sight back from the shelves to his captain with a slight look of disbelief.

“Really? You mean like... one hair out of place and your shoe came untied?”

“Oh it was absolutely dreadful. I was the laughing stock for weeks.” Albert chuckled, Chris smiling along with him, and casually leaned back in his chair. “In all seriousness, I had a difficult time adjusting. I was stressed to the point of skipping my lunches, I kept forgetting how to actually get to my office, and I was at a complete loss how to lead a team. I’d never done something like that before.”

“So, what changed? I mean, everyone really seems to like you. You seem so... I guess, natural at this.”

“A few years of practice, a lot of missteps, and, overall, deciding to actually be friends with my operatives. They are people and at the end of the day their lives are in my hands and vice versa.”

Hearing that Albert made mistakes was a comfort in of itself, but also hearing that Albert felt the same about depending on one another was a slight joy. They thought a little alike, even if it was about something so basic. It made him feel like Albert wasn’t in fact on a distant unreachable planet. He was human.

Even if he still was making Chris’ heart race straight up into his throat.

“Hopefully that means you don’t mind that I’m bugging you then,” Chris said.

“If by bugging me, you mean ‘keeping me company’, then no. I welcome it as long as you don’t mind that I finish up paperwork.” Albert gave Chris another smile before bending forward once again and picking up the discarded pen. Chris wasn’t spying but from his position he could see Albert’s handwriting. And it almost made him laugh.

He had the expectation that Albert would have beautiful penmanship and that all his letters would be in perfect script with an effortless grace. Instead, Chris swallowed a laugh at the fact that Wesker’s hand writing looked nearly illegible. He passed it off as a cough but it still caught Albert’s attention, bringing only his eyes up from the desk.

“Was there a title you were looking at? On the case I mean.”

“Oh- uh actually I was looking at... are those awards?”

“Feel free to look if you’d like.”

Chris nodded and stood up, careful not to step too close to Albert as he walked around him. He twisted his head to the side to look at the spines of the books, happy to find they weren’t all work related. Sure, there were some books on law and on crime, but there were plenty that appeared to be for pleasure too. Well worn copies of horror novels, a few classics that he recognized, and even a few mysteries that he’d spied on his mom’s shelf in another life.

Chris himself really wasn’t much a reader. He got too antsy sitting by himself in complete silence while diving into his own head. He only really enjoyed it when someone else was in the room too making some kind of light noise. He never could understand how some people could put themselves to sleep reading. Chris liked the kind of books that made his heart pound and kept him turning pages. 

“If you haven’t read anything by him yet, you strike me as the man who would like Dean Koonitz.” Chris hadn’t even realized that Albert had been looking at him. He was turned partially away from his desk, making the distance between them small. Trying to be discrete, Chris pushed himself closer to the bookshelf but tried to cover it with a smile.

“I’ll check him out.”

Chris’ gaze lingered a few more seconds on Albert before he turned back away. Albert was wearing a pale blue buttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His arms flexed as he wrote on the paper and his jaw seemed tight. Trying not to think about it, Chris instead read off the names of trophies.

Leadership, Service to the City, Excellence in Field, all of them seemed impressive. Now that he thought about it, a bunch of people on Alpha team seemed to have their fair share of gold in their offices. He hadn’t been out in active duty with any of them yet, which he was happy for both the peace and the time it gave him to mentally prepare, but he’d read the articles. Alpha team was the best and they worked hard for it too. Chris had experienced only a sliver of it first hand down in the gym. Every day he went home with aching muscles and extremely exhausted. His arms felt so heavy at night that it was sometimes hard to lift them. He’d woke up a few times from his calves cramping so horribly there was a divot in his leg. Chris was surprised there was any working water left in Raccoon City with all he’d been drinking.

Just when he’d started to feel like he was beginning to fit in, the pressure of living up to all the glory and good names settled in. 

Hating to interrupt, but remembering Albert said it was fine to bug- talk to him, Chris said, “I... I really hope I’m doing okay so far. Your team seems really put together. I don’t want to fall behind and make everyone carry my dead weight.”

“Do you really feel that way?” Albert turned to face him again, but this time they were even closer. Chris had moved closer as he’d been looking and was now almost knee to knee with him. Albert looked concerned, genuinely. He’d completely abandoned the paperwork he’d been on and was waiting for a response.

“Well, everyone has to feel that way at some point right? It’s just nerves and I’m sure once my body gets with the program it’ll go away. I’m getting the hang of things just- slowly, I guess. Sorry.”

“Barry was right. You are too hard on yourself.” Albert stood and joined Chris to look at him eye level. The conversation had suddenly took an incredibly personal turn, but Chris didn’t find himself nervous. Oddly, he felt a little more at ease when Albert was right in front of him. They were just talking and he didn’t have turn his head up or down to look at him. It was natural. But God he didn’t want to talk about personal shit. 

“Criticism keeps us improving,” Chris muttered.

“As long as it stays constructive rather than destructive,” Albert said. “Does this have to do with your discharge?”

Albert certainly didn’t pull punches when it came to talking. He seemed to like to get directly to the point. And it was awful that he wasn’t wrong. Even worse that Chris could only shrug.

“I had a feeling. Chris, if I didn’t think you would work hard and if I didn’t believe you would be a good fit for this team, I wouldn’t have let them place you here. Like I said, there are lives depending on us. All of us. When I said it was a gamble hiring you, I meant that it was a risk in the sense I was worried you would disobey a command or that you would act recklessly outside of commands. So far you’ve done everything I, and everyone else, has told you. Take a breath, you’re still new, but you’re doing just fine.”

Albert had placed a hand on Chris’ shoulder the same way Barry did when he needed cheering up or comforting. He squeezed when he emphasized and every word went straight to his heart. It was embarrassing that he needed to hear this much affirmation from someone else— someone who was practically a complete stranger — but it soothed him. Albert spoke in such a way that Chris figured there was no way he could be wrong. And Albert didn’t seem like the type of person to lie just to spare someone’s feelings.

“Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?”

Chris blurted it out before he could think about it any more. He wanted to get to know Albert better, he wanted to feel like he belonged, and the best way to do that — he figured — was to actually attach himself to the man. No more fear, no more nerves, no more avoiding. The worst he could get was a no.

“That sounds wonderful. What time works best for you?”

—-

When Albert had first walked into the Redfield home, Chris had been nervous. He’d spent the two hours between getting home and the other arriving cleaning and trying to hide anything embarrassing. He’d obsessed over what to make for dinner the entire time he vacuumed and wondered if the house smelled okay. Claire was at a friend’s house for the night which meant he wasn’t going to have any buffer.

But the second Albert actually walked in the door with a smile and a bottle of wine, the nerves melted. Before anything else, Albert had remarked how wonderful the food smelled from the kitchen and asked if there was anything he could do to help. He told Chris that he and Claire had a lovely home, poured him a glass of wine, and started conversation for him.

Now that they were mostly finished with dinner and Chris was half way through his second glass of merlot, he felt completely at ease. Albert proved easy to talk to. He’d been worried they were going to fall into awkward silence over the meal, but they bounced off each other as if they’d been friends for years. Talking about music turned into Albert sharing a few concerts he’d gone to which turned into Chris showing Albert his collection of records in the living room which turned into Albert noticing they had the same taste in movies given the VHS stacker next to the TV. Neither one had noticed that almost three hours had gone by and that it was beginning to creep into the late hours of the night. Neither one of them seemed interested in parting.

They were seated on the living room couch and Chris couldn’t help but stare at Albert as he spoke. His legs were crossed and he was eating up the shape of his thighs. Albert changed into a sweater before he came over and Chris wondered just how soft and warm it would be to sit right against him. Closer than they had sat at the party.

“You expect me to believe that The Silence of the Lambs scared you worse than The Exorcist?” Albert asked incredulously. Albert was also on his second glass of wine and swirled it gently. One arm was cast over the back of the couch and he sat turned to face Chris. A few strands of his hair had broken free of the gel. It looked a little better starting to come down than it did perfectly gelled and styled in place.

“Absolutely!” Chris laughed and took another sip of wine before setting down the glass so that he could talk freely with his hands. “The Exorcist is scary if you believe in demons and God and all that. The Silence of the Lambs is... realistic. There’s no demons it’s just a person. And come on, when she’s down in the basement in the dark and the guy is right behind her? That’s way scarier than a priest chucking himself out a window.”

“This is just another sign that I’m old and you’re a baby. When I was in my twenties there were no movies like The Exorcist.”

“Oh boohoo, you sound like my dad. He said the same thing about it.”

“Well he sounds like a man I could get along with him.” Albert paused, “Do you actually mind if I ask you a personal question?”

Oh shit. Oh fuck.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“May I ask why Claire lives with you? Did she not get along with your parents?”

“Oh, no. Our parents actually- they-“ Chris sighed and took another long swig of booze. He had assumed someone had told him. He assumed Barry had filled him on the situation. Barry told him that he explained, but then again, Barry was a stickler for privacy. He’d probably omitted some... “details”. 

“Our parents died when I was 18. Car accident.”

“Oh... oh, god, Chris. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Albert’s hand met Chris’ knee and gave it a squeeze, discarding his own glass of wine. A weight was suddenly sitting on Chris’ chest and making it hard to breathe. Albert was saying something, but he couldn’t hear it. His mind was a million miles away, thinking to the phone call, the sound of the rain, how dark it was outside. He felt like he was trying to breathe underwater.

The same way his parents must have felt when they-

A sudden cry came up from Chris throat. He didn’t realize there were hot tears on his face until there was noise. Embarrassed, he rubbed his hand hard against his cheek and looked away. He gulped and tried to change the subject, but the only sound that came out was another sob. 

“Sorry, I, uh- it’s not your- here let me refill-“

“You were so young.” Chris was frozen in place, but it was with a warmth instead of ice. The weight was still there, the tears were still coming even though he was trying his hardest for them to stop, and Albert’s hand remained on his knee as he moved closer. “I can’t imagine what you must have gone through. You were just a kid and you took on so much. You grew up before you were ready.”

Albert didn’t even mention the tears. He didn’t seem to mind them, in fact he only leaned in closer, offering an intimate space that made Chris feel like it was okay. At least like it was okay to fall apart a little bit. He didn’t want to think about them. He didn’t want to miss them. He didn’t want to remember that they were never coming back home. He didn’t even want to think about the times they all had together. The road trips, the movies, the family dinners, the holidays, the birthdays, because remembering all of that remembering that giant, gaping hole. 

It meant that the reality was that Chris had a family. He had a mommy, a daddy, a little sister, and a good home. He had a family and it was never going to be like that again. His mom was never going to hug him again with that special brand of love only she had. His dad was never going to kiss the top of his head again. They were never going to have another Christmas together. There was never going to be another Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. He’d never hear his dad singing in the kitchen again. He’d never hear his mom calling out for him.

He’d never hear them say “I love you”.

They were never coming back and Chris was nowhere near ready to let them go.

With a sudden force, Chris folded in half over his own lap and let the tears finally burst out. Embarrassment be damned, the only thing he could focus on was remembering to breathe between sobs. The years of stress came running back all at once and all the pain seemed to flood into any crevice it could find. He was vaguely aware of Albert running a hand between his shoulders, but his mind was fixated on his parents. The broken family he couldn’t glue back together no matter how hard he tried. Every sob felt like he was bringing in more pain and also letting the agony escape. 

“I’m sorry... I shouldn’t be crying. This isn’t your problem-“

“Chris, don’t be sorry. I’m the one who brought it up. Losing your parents isn’t something you brush off.”

Chris wiped his nose and sniffed as the tears started to settle. They were still flowing and his parents were still at the forefront of his mind, asking why he hadn’t thought about them in so long, but he was able to sit still. He was at least able to breathe without shaking anymore. 

“Yeah, but-“

“Death is not easy. It’s a bitch.” Albert’s hand that had been between his shoulder blades moved to his bicep and gave it a comforting squeeze. Chris dared to look up and saw only compassion on Albert’s face. He was relieved, but wasn’t expecting Albert to say, “When I lost my son and his mother, I wasn’t able to keep myself together for more than a few seconds at a time.”

“You... had a son?”

“His name was Jacob. He died two years ago along with his mother when he was only two.”

“I’m... I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”

“I don’t talk about it much. Makes it easier I suppose. It happened two years ago but I think about him and his mother, Katya, a lot. I was planning on marrying her.” Albert cleared his throat and glanced away, pressing a knuckle to his own lips. Chris wondered if Albert was holding back his own tears.

“Two years isn’t a lot of time...”

“Neither is five years. Especially when you were only a teenager. You’re human, Chris. You and me both.” 

It felt good to be relating with Albert. Just like looking at him eye to eye, being on the same page with pain and death felt good. Bonding. He didn’t feel so isolated, so out of place. Of course he was still hurting, but it was good to let it hurt around someone who at least knew what he was going through. Someone who had also been there.

But god, he couldn’t imagine losing his kid when he was only a toddler. They’d both lost everything. They’d both had their entire worlds shattered. There was something comforting about a trauma shared between the two of them. Chris felt guilty for thinking it, but this was the closest he’d gotten to someone else understanding. And he certainly wasn’t going to force Claire to talk about it. 

“I’m sorry you lost them. I bet, wherever they are, they miss you and they love you. That’s what I always tell Claire.”

“Thank you, Chris. And even though I don’t know them and I barely know you, I can bet that your parents are incredibly proud of you. And Claire is so lucky to have such a good big brother looking out for her. Please, don’t hesitate to talk to me, alright? This is what I’m here for.” Albert leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the top of Chris’ shoulders, enveloping him into a hug. Albert was just as warm and just as soft as he’d thought. He was sturdy, strong, safe. He leaned into him and encircled him as well, trying to be sly about enjoying the smell of his cologne.

“Now how about you turn on Silence of the Lambs and walk me through exactly how it’s the scariest movie you ever seen?”


	4. Chapter 4

April 24th, 1996

Finally, Chris felt at home in his element. Somehow, in the past three months, he’d fallen into the routine of work without even realizing it. Each passing day became easier and the uneasiness was further and further away. He started to believe he belonged in the halls he walked. Alpha team weren’t strangers anymore, but friends and teammates. Sure, there was still a long way to go and more things to adjust to, but he felt he’d been doing a pretty good job so far!

He’d even put his name placard back on his desk. Name facing the door. And he might have felt a little privately proud about it.

His body had also, finally and thankfully, gotten used to the fitness regiment he’d been assigned. No longer were his muscles screaming at the end of the day and there were fewer heated compresses during the night. Chris’ weight had gone up by five pounds from all the muscle he’d put on and people were starting to take notice of how he looked. Chris assumed it was just his physique but, unbeknownst to him, it was also the fact he was walking around with his chin up.

Chris had somehow adopted a little borrowed confidence and kept it, making his eyes stay level and adding a bit of power to his stride. He didn’t walk through the halls like he wasn’t trying to get caught doing something wrong. He walked and carried himself with purpose even if he didn’t fully realize it.

Chris was just happy that he didn’t completely bomb his first few field missions with the team. Yes, they had been minor incidents that required light investigating, but he’d received more praise than criticism. There were areas he needed to improve upon, but the Chris now was able to handle it with a fairly strong resolve. The Chris a few months ago would have felt it grounds for termination. But Albert seemed sound on the fact that Chris was here to stay.

Albert. How unlikely of a friend Chris had found in him. After that night crying on the couch, the two seemed naturally drawn to each other. For one reason or another, Chris would either wind up in Albert’s office or Albert would linger in Chris’ doorway. It was almost strange for Chris to see Albert trying to come up with an excuse to talk to him. He was Albert. Chris didn’t know how to tell the man he didn’t need an excuse; Chris was just happy to see him. Every time he heard the familiar rapping on his door — taptap tap tap — a smile brimmed on his face and whatever he was working on fell far away from his mind.

Chris had made friends with everyone on his team — Jill especially, she’d been coming over quite frequently — but Albert was the one he spent the most time with outside of work. It wasn’t a secret per se, but no one else seemed to know about it. Their plans together stayed private, even if it was as innocent as watching a movie on Chris’ couch or listening to music in Albert’s car on the way to get coffee. Nothing scandalous. But the fact they weren’t parading the fact they were best friends around the office brought Chris some comfort... and a sense of excitement.

Comfort because he didn’t have think any more closely about what exactly was going on between them. No need to analyze how close they were and what that meant if no one asked. Chris was an expert as rationalizing to himself, but had a difficult time lying to others. Besides, if those kinds of questions came up, Chris had a feeling that he’d be the only one confused and flustered. Albert was probably used to adult friendships, probably had a million of them and wouldn’t be so immature as to second guess what Chris was to him just because of an off hand remark from Kenneth or Joseph. So, the fact no one knew just how much time they were spending together was just fine by him.

But... there was also a brand of excitement Chris had never quite felt before. A sort of thrill in the secrecy that they spontaneously went out at weird hours on the weekend to just roam around the city. Saturday night excursions to video store, a day trip to a record store Albert loved, a walk alongside the lake near the edge of town that Chris had found. No one really knew about it. Or the conversations they had. But no one had to. Besides, he’d been telling Albert some pretty private things.

Things about his parents, memories of their family, worries about Claire, worries about himself— but never about what got him discharged. He let Albert believe what he wanted to about that. They both seemed contented to not bring it up.

Albert, surprisingly, was less secretive than Chris thought he would be. Though it did take Chris asking questions first to get information. He’d gotten used to it though. Albert would answer if he wanted. If it was too personal, he would politely tell Chris he didn’t want to talk about it and change the subject before the air could turn sour with awkwardness.

Albert was easy to be friends with. Chris liked spending time with him. More than he’d liked spending time with someone in a long while.

The time he spent with Albert was so exciting because he got everyone’s favorite person all to himself.

—-

Albert was standing in front of his bed with his arms crossed and sighing, trying to decide what to pack into the open, black suitcase laid in front of him. So far, he’d decided on socks, underwear, and a pair of shoes, but no actual clothes had left the closet or dresser. Even though Chris could only see the back of Albert’s head from his position, he knew the man’s face was tightened with irritation. Though it was kind of funny to watch.

“You’re only going to be gone a few days. I don’t think you need to pack fashion week with you,” Chris said with a smirk.

Chris was seated at the desk in Albert’s bedroom with his legs on either side of the back and arms folded atop the wood. Chris had come to find that Albert, while appearing effortless in his appearance, actually put quite a good deal of work into how he looked. His clothes were always meticulous, hair always in place, and he stressed perhaps a little too much about how put together he appeared. Not that Chris minded. He actually found it a little endearing to know the perfect he perceived came with some sweat and tears.

“Well I am sorry that not all of us want to live in the same jeans and t-shirt every day.”

“Jealous I can pull it off?”

“Hardly. Though, I will admit I am jealous of how quickly your arms filled out.”

Chris was happy Albert was turned around or else he would have seen the blush creeping across his cheeks. That was a normal thing men said to each right? He was just... overthinking it. It was a compliment, not a come on. Rationalizing done, back to normal.

Albert finally deciding on a pair of black slacks and a pair of nice fitting dark rinse jeans that he neatly folded before stacking into his luggage. A whole new conundrum opened up of finding matching shirts. God forbid it was going to be cold, otherwise Albert would have to rethink his wardrobe to accommodate for jackets and scarves.

“You’re leaving tomorrow afternoon?” Chris asked. He wanted to pretend that he wasn’t going to miss Albert. He was only going to be gone for a few days after all, but Chris had gotten used to having him around on the weekends. And weekdays. They were close and still in that phase where Albert was the most amazing friend Chris had ever had and couldn’t get enough of his company. But he’d survive. He just felt like a baby.

“Mhm, but I’ll be back in the office next week by Monday. Tuesday latest if the jet lag is bad enough.” Albert turned away from his packing and sat on his bed, stretching his legs forward and crossing his ankles. His gaze seemed odd, inquisitive but like he already knew the answer to his question, “Why? Are you going to miss me?”

Chris’ heart seized for a moment. Albert had a smirk on his face and was drumming his fingertips along his mattress waiting for a response. Of course he would miss him, at least a little, even if it was horribly humiliating to admit.

“You’re going to be gone like, what, five minutes? I’ll be happy for a vacation from you.”

“Don’t speak too soon. Jill is in charge while I’m gone and she’s not nearly as lenient as I am.” Albert rose and winked at Chris before once again burying himself in the drawers of the dresser to flip through shirts. It left Chris to muster a fake laugh and get his thoughts back under control. It was fine. Albert was just joking around. That smile, that wink— it was nothing. Just for fun. Just for a laugh. It didn’t mean anything.

Just when Chris had begun to convince himself that was the truth and that he could run straight into a new subject, Albert lifted his head, locked eyes with Chris, and said, “I’ll miss you while I’m gone.”

—-

Albert being absent from the office felt odd. Stepping into work the next morning and knowing that Wesker wasn’t going to be there left Chris with a strange knot in his stomach. He wasn’t nervous that Albert was in any kind of danger or worried he’d screw up while Albert was away. It was more that Chris felt a button on an invisible timer click, counting down the minutes until Albert came back home.

Chris just figured he was being ridiculous. There were plenty of days at the office where the two didn’t see each other. It would be just like that but for a longer period of time! Nothing was really different and by God it wasn’t like Albert was dying.

So then why, as Chris sat at his desk, did the feeling only get worse. The clock on his wall sounded louder, his office seemed bigger, and the air in the building felt a little thinner. It wasn’t pressing enough to stay in the forefront of his mind as he went about his work, but it was certainly hanging around. He figured he just wasn’t used to the boss being out.

Though it didn’t help that Chris didn’t actually know where Albert had gone to. He’d felt too embarrassed to ask so he just chalked it up to a work trip that only captains were concerned with. It was none of his business and he shouldn’t have been so focused on it. There was no reason to.

Thankfully, there was plenty of work that needed to be done that day to get his mind off of it. Almost as quickly as that feeling had been the focus of his attention, it drifted to the back of his mind. Jill was running the team through simulations that day which required his full mental presence. In a weird way, he liked simulations. He liked going through the pre-made scenes with a flashlight and unloaded gun. It gave him a chance to make mistakes without actually killing anyone— or himself for that matter.

There was a certain element of pretend to it that he enjoyed. Chris took it seriously, but privately enjoyed himself.

He showed up to the area with Joseph, both dressed in full uniform with empty guns holstered and training blades strapped in place. Maybe he could invite Joseph over for a movie! Or maybe Jill would like to come over for dinner as well. Though they would have to pick something other than Seven. He had promised Albert he wouldn’t watch it without him.

By the time the pair arrived, Jill was already calling orders to the few team members who showed up before them. It was general rules and regulations, standard procedure, but Jill seemed like a natural. She was good at commanding the attention of a room and her voice carried the sounds of a leader. When she spoke, Chris got the feeling it was in his best interest to listen. It was such a strange, but interesting, contrast to the sweet woman who would give the shirt off her own back.

“Right, Chris?”

“Huh?” Chris hadn’t realized that Joseph had even been talking.

“I said, Jill looks real nice in those jeans right? Glad she’s calling shots today and not running with us. Otherwise we’d miss the view.”

“Oh- yeah. Yeah she looks nice.”

“No, man, come on. Look at her legs in those-“

“Joseph, knock it off. I get it,” Chris snapped and eagerly welcomed a change of subject.

He’d never really thought about Jill like that. Yeah, she was pretty, very pretty! And she was kind and smart and incredibly funny. She’d grown to be a good friend of Chris’ in the past few months. Claire loved when Jill came over, maybe because she liked having another girl around. At least that was Chris’ guess. Jill knew how to make him smile when he was feeling low without even asking what was wrong. She was great and undeniably attractive.

But admitting that felt more like a compliment to a friend than anything else. When she hugged him goodbye or gave him a kiss on the cheek it wasn’t anything that lit sparks for him. There wasn’t a drive to not let go or to try and kiss her on the mouth. She was a good friend — a best friend even — so maybe that was why. He couldn’t see himself kissing or dating his best friend. That kind of attraction wasn’t there.

“What about Albert?”

Chris felt his heart sink and his face drain. He looked to Joseph, who only looked confused.

“What... what do you mean what about Albert?” Chris asked.

“God, you must be out of it today, Chris. I was just asking where Albert was. Everyone else is here.”

“Well maybe if someone read their morning memos you’d know he’s out of town for a few days.” Jill chimed in at the perfect moment and put an end to any clarification Chris might have had to give. He sighed quietly and smiled again, happy to be back in the moment and out of his own head. She continued, “At least you showed up dressed properly.”

“Only because I told him to,” Chris said.

Jill rolled her eyes but Chris could tell there was humor behind them. She went back to getting everyone organized together and began to lay down the scenes they would be running through that day. Hostage situation, mass casualty, violent invasion— all matters that required concentration and remaining calm. He wasn’t so sure how he would handle seeing dead bodies, even though he knew they were just volunteers pretending. Maybe it would be good practice for him. After all, this was the job he signed up for... kind of. Technically Barry signed him up and he just- whatever.

But as Chris ran through the simulations, that feeling he’d had earlier and that question from Joseph started to catch up to him. It started appearing around corners, in the dark shadows, and in the quiet moments between rooms.

_What_ _about_ _Albert_?

—-

“You did really good today, Chris. You’re making some great progress.”

The sun was just starting to dip behind the Arklay mountains which left the skyline bright pink and orange, burning through the gaps in the peaks. The sounds of evening traffic floated up from down below in the streets, replacing any sounds that might resemble crickets chirping. It looked like it was going to rain that night. Chris could see some dark clouds moving in.

It had been a few hours since they had all finished drills. Chris had disappeared into his office and Jill had just entered a few moments ago, throwing herself into the chair across his desk with a hearty sigh. Up close, Chris could see dark circles under her eyes and a hole in her lip where she’d been chewing it.

“Thanks, Jill. I’m doing my best.” Chris paused. “Do you want to come over tonight? Let me make you dinner? You look like-

“Do not say tired.”

“...you’re feeling under the weather.”

“Nice save.” Jill laughed softly. “I’d love to but I have some work to do when I get home. I don’t know how Al juggles all this crap. I finish one thing and twenty more get piled on. Thank god he’s only gone for a few days.”

“I don’t know, seems to me you kind of like being in charge.”

“I do like being in charge. I just don’t like all the paperwork that comes with it.”

It was true though. Chris had remarked all through out the day how good Jill seemed to be at commanding a team. She knew how best to utilize people and when an emergency could be worked through. Even during the simulation when someone started “dying”, she had kept her cool and managed to help them pull through. Chris had struggled at a few points when the screaming from the volunteers got to be too much. He was just happy he didn’t have to leave the room.

“So there _won’t_ be a fight to death for power when Albert comes back?”

“I will gladly relinquish the privilege and step back down to second in command.”

“That reminds me, I never asked. How did you get that position? Not that I’m trying to go for it or anything! Or that I’m trying to insinuate-“

“Chris, relax. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack with how tightly wound you are.” Jill leaned forward and gave Chris a few friendly pats on the hand before rising to walk to the window. “Hard work, dedication, partially seniority too since I’ve been here so long. You know they originally wanted to make captain of Bravo team?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I knew I was higher qualified. I put my foot down and said that I wanted to be on Alpha. I was more than qualified and it was the job I wanted. Took some time, but I wore them down.” Jill paused and silently nodded her head, like she was chewing on thoughts. “I was a little worried when they brought Al on. Thought maybe he’d act like he owned the place and everyone else on the team. Didn’t know I’d get a best friend out of it.”

Even if he didn’t say it, Chris knew how Jill felt at least a little. He had been terrified of failure when he’d first been brought on and now he spent most weekends with his coworkers. It was an odd sensation — to fit into a place where he wasn’t sure if there was enough space for him — but it was closest he had felt to home in a long while.

“You know you’re one of my best friends?” Chris asked with a smile.

“The feeling is mutual. Especially since you do everything I say. Definitely helps your case.”

“Then how about you forget about work the rest of the night, worry about it tomorrow, and please let me feed you a decent meal? Claire’s also been begging me to bring you back over. You’d break her heart...”

“Fine.” Jill snapped and playfully punched Chris in the shoulder before pointing towards his face with a stiff finger. “But I get to pick what you make. Deal?”

“Deal.”

—-

The days went by without event. Work was done, things went relatively smooth, and the world was perfectly boring. Chris noticed Albert’s absence though, especially over the weekend. He had become so accustomed to Albert coming over or going over to Albert’s house that it felt weird to not see him at all on his days off.

Claire noticed it too, but not because the man was missing. She noted that Chris seemed a little more down in the dumps as of late and wondered if it had anything to do with Albert being gone. That knot returned, but Chris had laughed it off, saying it was just nice to spend some time with a guy who was closer to his age than Barry. Claire didn’t look like she had bought it but didn’t say anything more about it.

Though the few days without Albert did give Chris more time to spend with Jill. They went hiking together on Saturday and caught a movie together on Sunday. There were periods where Chris thought perhaps he could like Jill. She made him laugh and she was extremely pretty, maybe it could work? There didn’t seem to be a reason he _shouldn’t_ have been attracted to her.

But something was stopping him. It wasn’t fear or nerves that kept him from asking her out, it was something else. Something cold and kind of empty that left him feeling sad. Something he didn’t have a name for. He tried to needle it into a definition but it kept slipping away from him— and all his excuses.

There wasn’t a feeling of guilt that he shouldn’t date for Claire’s sake. In fact, she often told Chris it would be nice to see him “putting himself out there” for once.

It wasn’t that any policies at the office were keeping them apart. It was never clearly stated that coworkers weren’t allowed to date one another. Even though it was technically frowned upon, people still did it. There didn’t seem to be complaints as long as everyone stayed professional.

Chris wondered if maybe it was just because he hadn’t had a steady girlfriend since high school. He’d had a girlfriend, Sadie McCallough, most of his senior year, but they’d broken up shortly after his parents died. He hadn’t really gone out since then. Sure he’d had a few casual dates that his friends had set him up with, but they never went anywhere. Chris always said that he would call them, but never did. It was a shitty thing to do and he knew that he’d probably hurt some feelings, but that didn’t make him pick up the receiver.

Chris figured that was it. He was just out of practice. His brain wasn’t... used to seeking out romantic endeavors. That’s all. It had nothing to do with what happened. That was a fluke, a mistake. A bad memory that happened because of bad decisions. He’d screwed up. It was in the past and he had a new job with new friends.

Things were better now.

—-

When Monday finally rolled around, Chris didn’t even pretend he didn’t jump right out of bed and excitedly watch the clock the entire day. There was an obvious pep in his step that he didn’t try to excuse or hide. He was far too focused on the fact that Albert was back home.

As Chris worked — checking the clock every five minutes — he had a buzzing in his stomach. He was excited that his best friend was back home after a whole week. He felt like such a kid, but it was nice to be this happy. Albert’s plane had come in that morning at seven and he’d taken the day off to get some sleep before returning to work the next day.

But he had invited Chris to come over after work. Chris’ face lit up when he checked his email that morning and saw a message waiting for him. Hurriedly, he clicked on the subject line ‘Plans Tonight?’ And scanned over the words.

“Just got back in, should be rested enough by tonight to watch a movie. I’ll order takeout. Let me know when I should expect you.”

Chris didn’t even care that it sounded like Albert already knew his answer. Chris had previously resigned himself to just talking to Wesker on the phone when he got back home, but hadn’t anticipated actually seeing him. Already, as he was typing his enthusiastic response, he was planning on what movie they were going to watch. Though he was kind of more excited to just talk to Albert and hear about his trip. He’d missed his voice. And hanging out with him.

By the time five o’ clock hit, Chris felt like it had been an eternity. The second he could leave, he grabbed his coat and jumped in his car, driving the familiar backroads to Albert’s house.

Albert lived on the outskirts of Raccoon City, on the opposite city line from the Arklay mountains. Raccoon City was nestled in the middle of varying degrees of wilderness. There was desert and flatlands surrounding the area, but there was tons of land bordered by thick trees and forest. The further you went into the greenery, the most you noticed how clear and fresh the air was. There were signs all along the roads leading into the woods that warned cars to watch out for animals and to be careful if the roads were wet.

Chris was too excited to see Albert to even think about wet roads and car accidents. For once, those negative, horrible memories weren’t on his mind. Not to mention, the view was so gorgeous it was hard for him to not feel giddy.

He took the familiar turns off the main road and finally pulled up to the house, honking to announce his presence. Albert lived in a two-story house paneled on the outside by wood with a dark brown tiled roof. His front door was deep, warm red with an inviting cobblestone walking leading to it lined by ground lights. The windows on the front of the house were large and usually had the curtains pulled back. Since he lived so far away from other neighbors, Albert was never really concerned with anyone peering into his home. The whole house seemed to be warm and inviting on just first glance. The first time Chris had come over, he’d spent probably too long looking around and admiring how nice it all was. It wasn’t huge, but cozy. Chris just hoped Albert had already gotten the fire place up and running. He could see his breath as he walked up to the house.

Before he could even ring the bell, Albert threw open the door with a smile. The lights behind him were turned on and Chris could see a half unpacked suitcase sitting by the foot of the stairs.

“I didn’t expect you so soon. I apologize for the mess.”

“I’m offended that you left a few specks of dust for me to find. I guess you didn’t have time to wash the ceilings either?”

“Call me forgetful.” Albert let Chris inside and he was immediately met with warmth. He loved coming over to Albert’s house. It felt so lived in and so personal. It always smelled so nice — like spices and coffee — and there were personal touches of the owner all over the place. Jackets left on chairs, books with folded pages sitting around, and, without fail, Chris could find a pair of sunglasses sitting on the bathroom sink at any given time.

Chris stooped down to untie his shoes and spoke as Albert disappeared into the kitchen, probably retrieving the take out he had mentioned earlier.

“How was your flight? Did you get sick?”

“No, I slept through the majority of it, but I didn’t get home until the afternoon. Weather delays.”

“Gross.” Chris stood and followed Albert into the kitchen where he found him taking white styrofoam boxes out of the oven. Smelled like Italian. “How was your trip anyway? Anything fun happen?”

“I wish going out of town meant I was going to have fun. It was all business, leadership training and what not. Nothing too exciting.” Albert tossed his head to the side as he dished warm, fragrant pasta onto a plate, adding more sauce to Chris’ than his own. “Were you all behaved while I was gone?”

Chris gulped quietly. Behaved? Why did that send chills down his spine and make his legs... tingle?

“For the most part. I might have goofed off a little bit now and again. You said Jill wasn’t as lenient as you but she lets me get away with murder.I like it when she’s in charge.”

“Is that so? Well maybe Jill would rather hang out with you?”

“No thanks, she doesn’t give me free food.”

Even though he was obviously tired and worn out from the trip, Albert looked nice. Chris loved seeing him in casual clothing. He looked more like himself in jeans and t-shirts. He especially liked how Albert didn’t wear any gel in his hair at home. Chris hadn’t noticed before but Albert actually had the tiniest hint of waves in his hair.

It looked soft.

Albert led Chris to the living room with two plates of food and the promise of red wine. The movie they were supposed to watch was all but forgotten as they talked through mouths of food. Albert waited until he had finished chewing to talk, Chris usually ending up gulping in the middle of his sentences. Albert’s couch was small, making them sit close together. Not that either one seemed to mind.

Maybe it was just Chris’ imagination, but he swore that at some point, Albert inched a little closer so that their knees were touching.

“You know it was... weird without you here.” Chris finally admitted while trying to nonchalantly stare at his mostly finished plate of food as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Weird how? Did someone give you trouble?”

“Nah, nothing like that. I just mean... you know we’ve been hanging out a lot so.” Chris shrugged. “I guess I missed you.”

Albert smiled that same warm smile. Like hot tea with honey. Like sunshine. Like the warm hug he’d given Chris that night he’d been crying. It still froze him blissfully in place just as it had the first day in Albert’s office.

“I missed you as well.” It was quiet for a long moment as the only sounds heard in the living room were the crackling of the fire. Chris felt a heat in his face, but couldn’t tell if it was from the flames or his own heart thundering. A sudden nervous excitement washed over him, making his hands tremble ever so slightly and his eyes dart away from Albert. Albert was still staring at him, he could feel it.

But he didn’t want him to look away.

“I was pretty happy when you invited me over. I just planning on calling you to make sure you got home okay.” Why was his voice so quiet? He was never shy around Albert. Nervous, sure, but he could usually joke his way through that. It felt like his heart beat was making his voice waver.

“You were worried about me. That’s sweet.” Albert’s voice was low, soft. Chris dared to look up and saw that he’d set aside his plate of food and was now scooting closer to Chris, completely closing the gap between them. Gently, he took Chris’ plate from his hands and set it down, remarking, “You’re shaking. Are you cold?”

“No.”

“Do I make you nervous?”

It wasn’t asked with concern but with something else. Dominance. Intrigue. Excitement. Want.

Chris could only nod in response. Albert was so close to him. He could smell his cologne and feel the warmth radiating off his body. They were turned to face each other and from how close they were, Chris could see the flecks of blue in his green eyes as they scanned over his face. The world was fading away, drowning out into the cracks of the fireplace.

“Why? What do you think I’m going to do?”

Albert raised a hand and placed it on Chris’ shoulder, but it wasn’t like the other friendly touches he’d given him. This was different, deliberate. His touch felt electric as it traveled around his shoulder, sometimes dipping onto the top of his chest or grazing the base of his neck. A soft shudder escaped his lips as Albert’s fingers traveled up the side of his neck and caressed his jaw, bringing his face closer.

“I... I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to show you?”

Without waiting for answer, Albert slowly leaned in and closed the short distance between them, taking up Chris’ lips in a deep, warm kiss. Chris was stunned for only a moment before his eyes fluttered closed and his mind was filled with how warm Albert’s lips were, how good it felt to kiss him, how right it felt to have his hands on him. Could his heart even beat that quickly? How and when did he get covered in goose bumps? He didn’t know — didn’t care — all he wanted was for Albert to keep going. More, don’t stop.

Chris moved closer and wrapped a hand around the back of Albert’s neck, feeling some of his blonde hair intertwine with his fingers. He was right— it was soft. And it smelled really nice. And he was so warm and so strong. Albert was good at this. His hands felt amazing gliding over his face and back, pulling him even closer to get him exactly where he wanted him. Chris was vaguely aware of an ache growing in his hips, especially when he felt the tip of Albert’s tongue swipe against his bottom lip.

Albert tasted like pasta and wine and his breath smelled good. He felt light headed, breathing in so much of the man and barely breathing at all. He let Albert’s strong arms support him as they wrapped around his middle, completely taking him up as Chris chased after more. More kissing, more attention, more practically crawling into Albert’s lap. Where in the world did Albert learn to kiss like this? Chris was trying his hardest not to moan like a horny teenager into Albert’s open mouth, but the way his tongue was moving was so...

Suddenly, as if the world had disappeared, it came crashing back down. What exactly was he doing? What did he _think_ he was doing? Almost as quickly as he had accepted Albert’s embrace and affections, he yanked himself away. The places where Albert’s touches had just soothed now burned with shame.

Albert looked confused as Chris pulled away like he’d been stung, his hands still hanging in the air as if he was waiting for the other to come back into his arms.

“Chris? Did I do something wro-“

“I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have- I know better. I can’t-“ He felt a hot burn creeping up his throat as his stomach clenched. His entire body now burned with shame and his hips felt like they were going to crack. What had he done? What had he screwed up? All that effort, all that shame, all that hard work to start over, and here he was, mewling against the other man like a dumb slut.

“Wait, Chris. What’s wrong?”

“I need to go. I need to leave.” Chris sprang up from the couch and practically ran to the front door still very aware of the warmth and tingle left on his lips. Tears stung at his eyes as he yanked his coat back on and picked up his shoes. Why was he so stupid? Why was he such an idiot? He should have known this was coming, should have had the mind to tell Albert no, then this mess- no he couldn’t think about it right now. He just had to leave, had to get home, had to run.

As the cold ground met his feet, Chris could hear Albert calling his name. Painfully.

His heart ached and seized as the urge to run back into Albert’s arms and bury himself in his neck started to take over. It was so hard to fight, and God he didn’t want to, but he had to. He wanted nothing more than to run back inside and hop right back into Albert’s lap and let Albert kiss him all he wanted, but Chris knew better.

As Chris drove away, furiously rubbing his eyes and cursing himself, Chris was reminded of the truth he knew. The world Chris lived in was not built for his wants. He didn’t have the capacity to want what he did the most.

That was what caused all this mess in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow what a cliff hanger amirite? I feel a little bad leaving on this note because next chapter probably won’t be up for a few weeks. I’m going on vacation and my school term just started back up. I’ll try to have it done in two-ish weeks!
> 
> And thank you so very, very much for all the sweet comments. They make my entire day and really keep me going! <3 You’re all wonderful. See you soon!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. So... I got hit real hard by that fresh depression. I didn’t start writing this until my best friend Aiden texted me at two in the morning on the 3rd with, “I was falsely led on with promises of Chris being a lapslut and this???? Is the content I get?????”. Whenever I’d be watching Hulu or playing video games she would ask me DON’T YOU HAVE A CHAPTER TO FINISH? 
> 
> Aiden, I love you. Thanks for making me get out of bed and out of my own head. Bitch. Heh heh.
> 
> Anyway, sorry this is a little late. Thank you for your patience and thank you so much for reading!

Beep. Beep. Beep.  
  
It was persistent. It was annoying. It was familiar.  
  
But it was far away.  
  
It almost sounded like his alarm clock, but it was soft enough to ignore. Just muffled and just quiet enough for Chris to fall back asleep and slip deeper into the thick, black fog.  
  
—-  
  
Someone was crying. Chris couldn’t tell from where though. Every direction seemed wrong and his feet felt weighed down. It was distant, mixed in with the faint beeping, but it was there.  
  
He felt a spur of worry, but exhaustion quickly overtook it. He was alone in darkness, cemented in place by stone feet while listening to a rhythmic beep interrupted by hiccups and sniffs. There was no light, but also no walls or doors. It was open blackness with only echoes to guide him.  
  
What a strange world.  
  
—-  
  
Someone was calling his name.  
  
It was louder than the beeps or the crying. More insistent too. It made his head ache and even though he was walking towards it, he wanted to run away from it. The voice meant something. It meant leaving. He didn’t know how he knew this, he just knew if he followed it, he’d leave the dark world of echoes.  
  
He didn’t want to yet. Even though it was dark and cold here, it was safe. Safer than outside where everything was just too much. He didn’t have to think here. He barely had to exist.  
  
Chris laid on what he assumed was the ground and floated away from the voice, embracing the dark and dreaming.  
  
—-  
  
Claire, it had been Claire who had been crying.  
  
How hadn’t he realized that? He stood and moved slowly through the darkness trying to find his way back. There was no noise to lead him now. No beeps, no crying, and no calling. There was only stumbling through the darkness he once called safe. Now it was just keeping him away from protecting his sister.  
  
Chris tried to run but his feet were still far too heavy. It was a crawl towards his best guess in the right direction. It was the first time Chris realized it was so dark he couldn’t even see himself. Suddenly, he didn’t want to be in this world anymore. It was lonely, it was too isolated. If he couldn’t see his own hand in front of his face there could have been anything lurking in the darkness.  
  
Chris groaned with the effort of walking. His whole body felt sore and his head had escalated into a harsh throbbing. If it hadn’t been so dark he probably wouldn’t have been able to see anyway. It hurt to breathe, let alone move. The place that had held him so comfortably now felt like it was trapping him.  
  
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been trudging. It felt like hours but it could have been minutes. Maybe even seconds, but he didn’t want to stop.  
  
It started feeling warmer. Chris was suddenly more aware of his body. He swore he could catch a few glimpses of light. He wanted to sleep, wanted so desperately to lay down, but he was close. He knew he was getting somewhere. Towards the warmth, towards the light, towards-  
  
—-  
  
Chris opened his eyes.  
  
His eyelids felt heavy, weak, and sore. They only stayed open for a moment before closing again, fatigue and pain tarnishing his senses. He felt the world spinning and wondered if it had always turned so fast. Trying again, he opened his eyes, just barely, and tried to see. Things were blurry and out of focus. They wavered when he tried to focus on them before he had to give up and close his eyes for a break.  
  
Behind the shield of his eyelids, he listened to the room around him. There was that beeping, consistent and steady, but there was no crying. He wasn’t sure whether he should have felt relieved or worried. Both felt like they took too much energy to feel.  
  
He could hear distant voices behind walls. They were soft, but sounded harmless. There weren’t any loud bangs or sounds of fighting. Besides that, it was quiet.  
Forcing himself, Chris opened his eyes again and tried to focus. Had he really slept that hard? He didn’t even remember getting home. Where had he gone? He couldn’t remember and his head throbbed in protest when he tried to remember. Trying to see straight was enough in itself.  
  
There was a blurry figure a few feet away from him. His head was splitting and trying to remember, or even think, was making the pain worse. He must have drank too much. This was probably just a horrible hang over. But when had he drank _that much_? What had he _done_ the previous night?  
  
Again, he blinked and this time focused on the colors of the figure. Red, brown, something gray and long. Chris tried to call out but his voice was hoarse and dry. He coughed and the figure perked up.  
  
“Chris...? _CHRIS_!” Immediately, Chris recognized the figure as Claire. The red was her jacket, the brown her hair, and with how the gray fell to the floor, he assumed it was a blanket. She was on him, hugging him and trembling, crying into his neck. Chris was confused. Claire had seen him hungover several times before. None of this made sense.  
  
“Claire...? What-“ He coughed again, his throat dry. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Claire didn’t respond for several moments as she clung to his aching body and sobbed into his shoulder. He tried to hold her, but his arms felt heavy. He tried to move his hands but they screamed in agony.  
  
“I didn’t- I didn’t know if you were going to wake up. You were out for so long and no one knew how bad you were hurt and you were so cut up and-“ Her voice broke with another sob. “I can’t lose you too, please, Chris, don’t do that to me. I can’t-“  
  
“Claire, please.” Against the pain, Chris raised a hand and placed it on Claire’s head, barely able to stroke her hair. Why was Claire hysterical? What was this about not waking up? Had he just passed out that bad? What did he last remember? What had led-  
  
The evening with Albert came back into fuzzy memory. He remembered the kissing and his quick exit, but nothing much beyond that. The last thing he really remembered clearly was how warm and soft Albert’s lips had been. How good he has tasted. Beyond that, it was all blackness.  
  
Chris smoothed Claire’s back as she continued to cry and he found himself lost.  
  
—-  
  
It had been the slick roads. The rain mixed with Chris driving as fast as he could to get away proved near deadly. Those back roads to Albert’s home were so beautiful on the drive up. They’d turned into a danger on the way out.   
  
Especially since he had been drinking.  
  
Chris didn’t remember any of it, but Claire recounted it for him. At least what she had heard from the EMTs and the doctors.  
  
He’d been driving too fast and hit a corner at too high of a speed. His car had slid on the slick concrete and spun, flipping off the edge of the road and into a ditch. Chris had hit his head — hard — and broken some bones. When they pried him out of the wreckage, he was barely breathing and wasn’t responding to light or noise.  
  
Chris had been asleep for a week, laying still in a hospital bed with tubes feeding him and machines making sure he was still alive. The doctors had said they weren’t sure what was going to happen when he woke up, if he woke up. Chris was heavily concussed and it had taken them too long to get his breathing back to normal.  
  
He’d gotten lucky. _Extremely lucky_.

The crying had been Claire terrified her brother was going to leave her just like her parents did. Chris would have left her completely alone in the world. An orphan whose brother died the same way her mom and dad, only this time it was out of his own stupidity. Claire had been waiting for him to come home the whole time, paranoid and scared that something had happened. The guilt he felt was enough to make him vomit into the nearby bin.  
  
All he could do was sob out apologies between painful, laboring breaths, before falling back into an exhausted — but stable — sleep.  
  
—-

Over the next few days, Chris could only sleep if Claire was allowed to sleep next to him. The doctors and nurses argued, saying it was better if he could relax. Claire and Chris both knew that wasn’t a possibility if they were apart. They were both too afraid to let go.  
  
They didn’t speak much, only clung to each other and mindlessly watched the TV mounted onto the wall. Chris didn’t want to say what happened, but knew Claire deserved an answer. It wasn’t just a freak accident. He’d been tipsy, he’d been going too fast, and he had been far too emotional and distraught to drive. He knew that, he’d known that the second he started walking towards the door.  
  
But he did it anyway.  
  
“I was at Albert’s.”  
  
“I know.” The TV was soft, but Claire’s voice was softer. Her words stung like venom. “You were drunk.”  
  
The host on the game show prattled on about prizes. A cruise to Hawaii, a new car, and money. Chris wondered what it would be like to be one of those contestants, anxiously holding their breath until they could scream out the right answer. But that meant eyes — thousands of them — on every move they made. Chris had a hard enough time meeting his sister’s eyes.  
  
“Claire, I’m sorr-“  
  
“ _Don’t_ , Chris.” Claire sat up and shook her head, glaring at her brother. “How could you be so... so _dumb_? What if you _died_? What then? Would you have wanted me to bury you next to mom and dad? You’re all I have left, Chris.”  
  
He laid still and listened. It hurt, but it was true.  
  
“I know, Claire... I know. There’s... there’s no excuse for what I did. I was stupid.”  
  
“Yeah, you were. You’re lucky Albert talked to me first and calmed me down.”  
  
“Wait... you talked to Albert?”  
  
“Yeah, Chris. I did.” It was just those few words that Chris could tell Claire knew what happened. Albert wasn’t the kind to be secretive when it concerned something this serious. He wouldn’t have saved face at the expense of lying to Claire. He wasn’t like that.  
  
God, Albert. That hurt expression he’d worn when Chris barged out the door. How painful his voice had sounded when he called after Chris to come back. He probably wanted Chris to run back into his arms just as much as Chris wanted to. He’d followed after him. He’d saved his life. In more ways than one.  
  
Stinging filled Chris’ eyes as tears started to slide down his face. The world he’d constructed was starting to cave in. The lies, the denial, the pretending, the lying to himself— it was over.  
  
Chris liked Albert.   
  
He wanted him.   
  
He had been wanting to kiss him they way he had ever since the moment he’d met him. Every single meeting had been a fight to keep his hands off the man. All he wanted to do was hold onto Albert and melt into his touch. There was no more lying about it.  
  
“You need to talk to him, Chris.” Claire’s voice was softer. She laid her head back on his shoulder and he rubbed her hair. Hands wound back into the fabric of his hospital gown and he held her as tight as he could.  
  
“I know.”  
—-  
  
Chris had fell asleep that night after he and Claire both fell into silence. Somewhere in the hours, he had drifted off with his head atop hers and with the announcer on the television finally lulling him into a gentle sleep.  
  
He remembered nurses coming to check on him throughout the night, but he hardly stirred through their poking and prodding. His mind was heavy and the words he needed to speak were trapped inside, but at least he knew he couldn’t run anymore. There was no denying or lying to be had, so he slept sound.  
  
When he woke, the space next to him was empty. The beeps of the machine suddenly spiked as Chris shot up to sit in bed. How long had he slept?! Where was Claire?! What happened? Where did she go? Did she run off?  
  
Before Chris could get a full, sore leg out of bed, he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a familiar voice.  
  
“It’s okay, you’re alright. You can’t stand on that leg right now.”  
  
Chris immediately started trembling, but obeyed. He winced when he placed his leg back into bed and tried to ignore the resurgence of pain in his head. However, his heart was now hammering far too fast for the machine to wind back down. There was fast, nervous beeping in the room and it proved the only sound for a few long moments. Chris knew he would have to look up, but couldn’t find the courage to do it just yet.  
  
He didn’t want to risk seeing the hurt in Albert’s eyes again.  
  
“Where’s Claire...? She was here when I fell asleep.”  
  
“I made her finally go get some sleep in a real bed. She’s safe, I promise. She hadn’t been getting much rest when you were still out.”  
  
“But she’s home by herself? She shouldn't-“  
  
“Chris.” Again, Albert’s voice was stern, but comforting. It stopped his words, but not with frustration or anger. His voice sounded tired. Like he hadn’t been getting much sleep either. Like he’d been worried and up too long.  
  
He could see Albert through his lashes move around the room. He closed the curtains to limit the amount of light streaming in and gently shook the water pitcher next to his bed to make sure it was still full. Eventually, he sat in the chair next to the bed and pulled it close, giving Chris nowhere else to look but his face.  
  
“I had a feeling you wouldn’t want Claire to be by herself. She’s been sleeping in my guest room and I’ve been making sure she’s taken care of. You don’t have to worry.”  
  
“Barry would have done that, you know. You didn’t have to.”  
  
Albert sighed and Chris was suddenly aware that a hand was on his mattress, relaxed and empty. He had an urge to hold it, to wrap his fingers in between Albert’s and squeeze. He owed Albert at least a thank you. For taking care of his sister, for being here, for not immediately screaming at him.  
  
“I felt like I had to take responsibility. At least partially. I made you uncomfortable.” Albert sighed again and his head drooped ever so slightly. From his spot on the bed, Chris could see his face up close. His hair was messy, combed back to the best he could muster, but his eyes look tired. He looked exhausted. His skin looked paler than usual and there were dark circles underneath his lids. The whites of his eyes looked a little bloodshot.  
  
Even like this, Albert still looked beautiful.  
  
Without thinking more, Chris laced his fingers with Albert’s. Gently, he dove through the spaces between his fingers and pressed his palm to the top of his hand. His thumb found the broad stroke of his wrist and stroked slowly, nervous but knowing this was exactly what he wanted. To his shock and relief, Albert curled his fingers inwards and met the tips of Chris’.  
  
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Albert.” Chris could feel his heart in his throat as he spoke. He never though he would talk about this again. Never thought this would breathe air, but it had to. Albert had a right to know. The fact he was blaming himself was enough to make Chris break whatever stupid vow he’d made years ago. Albert had taken care of Chris several times over the past few months when he’d been hurting. When the pain came, Albert seemed to be able to tell and had a talent for soothing it.  
  
Now Albert was hurting. Chris owed him the same respect. Especially if he wanted to be able to hold his hand.  
  
“I need to tell you something.”  
  
—-  
  
His name was Jackson Porter.  
  
Chris met him when the two were stationed at the same air base. They had clicked almost instantly. Jackson was from California, freshly twenty years old, and had deep brown eyes that matched his skin. His laugh was loud, but contagious. He wanted to be a doctor when he left the Air Force. He talked a lot about his family back home, especially his younger brother. Chris told Jackson all about Claire. They drank together at night, they trained together, and Chris had cried on his shoulder when Jackson asked about his family.  
  
They never asked each other about women or sexual conquests. It never came up even though it was a popular topic among the other men. Jackson seemed just as uncomfortable as Chris whenever it came up. Instead, the two would wander off together and talk privately. About books, movies, music, family, food, whatever came to mind. He was a good listener and had a voice like honey that Chris could have listened to for hours.  
  
Sometimes Chris would play guitar and Jackson would sing if he recognized the song. Jackson first kissed him when Chris had played Ring of Fire. They had been sitting in Chris’ backyard. It was dark outside and there were only a few stars in the sky. It was warm — the middle of June — and there was a salty taste to his lips. Chris could feel Jackson smiling against his mouth.  
  
They weren’t stupid. They knew they couldn’t talk about it. However much they enjoyed their private moments together filled with kissing and touching and the blooming of something Chris felt was love, no one could know about it. Chris had Claire to think about, Jackson had family back home. Neither of them could risk the discharge.  
  
But it didn’t stop them behind closed doors. Chris had kissed girls before, but never felt anything close to the way he felt with Jackson. Every touch was electric and every brush of the lips felt like the first all over again. He felt nervous and excited just looking at him. He said his name as much as possible just because he loved to say it.  
  
_Jackson, Jackson, Jackson._  
  
They never put a label on them. Nothing like “boyfriend” or “gay” ever came up in conversation. Chris just knew he was the only one in Jackson’s life. Jackson knew the same. They shared a bed with no one but each other and looked at no one they did one another. There was no point. There was love without a word. All that was needed to communicate that was a soft laugh in the dark and Chris pressing his lips to Jackson’s jaw.  
  
They were careful on base. They didn’t stand too close. They didn’t risk a quick dose of one another when no one was looking. They didn’t let their stares linger on each other for too long. No one suspected a thing. No one knew that Jackson had practically moved in with Chris and spent almost every night cradled to the man’s side.  
  
Jackson met Claire and spent time alone with her, making an effort to get to know the little bit of family Chris had left. Claire adored Jackson almost as much as Chris did. Jackson introduced Chris to his own family back in California over the phone.  
  
“Mom, Dad, say hi to Chris. I finally got him on the phone. Chris! Come say hi to my parents! They want to meet my boyfriend.”  
  
That was the first time Jackson had ever used the word and he couldn’t find his voice to speak for a few long moments. He was standing on the opposite side of the room, smiling, with his heart swelling. He spoke eventually and by the end of the conversation, Jackson’s parents were insisting he and Claire both come for Christmas.  
  
Then, it happened.  
  
It started off innocuous. There were a few words like “queer” muttered under the breath of a few men. Chris was shoved aside randomly one day by someone he barely knew at the base. People got quiet when either of them came around. It felt like the whole base was talking about them, but not to their faces. Chris could feel eyes on him every time he was working and they felt like they were burning holes into his entire backside. Jackson said he was being paranoid. They were probably just spending too much time together. People liked to spread rumors, it got boring on base, it would die down within a week or two.  
  
It only got worse. The insults escalated to filthier, uglier language. People would corner either Chris or Jackson to ask “where his little queer boyfriend was”. Someone got into Chris’ bag and trashed everything inside of it. Jackson showed up on Chris’ doorstep with a black eye, split lip, and bruises painted all over his skin. Chris held him as Jackson cried, promising that he would fix it even though he didn’t have a clue how.  
  
While Jackson was still healing — butterfly bandage on his forehead and his eye settling into a deep pink and yellow — they got called into their superior’s office. They sat in silence as the man in front of them sighed and told them how painful it was for him to discharge them both. Jackson flew into a rage at the word, Chris sat in cold, stunned silence.  
  
“Discharged?! Over what? Over pissing off the same guys who did  _this_ to me?! The ones who keep harassing us and-“  
  
“I’ve heard some things about the two of you and frankly, I don’t think it’s best for _either_ of you to be here. It’s a threat to-“  
  
“To what?! Who exactly are we a _threat_ to? And what exactly are we doing to threaten anyone?!”  
  
Chris reached a numb hand over towards Jackson and fumbled for his forearm, knowing only in his confused and foggy mind that he needed to comfort him. But Jackson was too animated and flung Chris’ hand off, letting it fall limply back to his side. Chris stared at the floor without a word coming from his slackened jaw.   
  
_Discharged.  
_  
“I’ve heard some news about what the two of you are doing. I won’t ask for... details, but I’m letting you leave with your dignity intact.”  
  
“ _Dignity?_ You think there’s _dignity_ of losing my fucking job and those intolerant assholes get to stay without any kind of stain? Why?! Because I’m gay? Because I’m with him?” Jackson gestured towards Chris and it felt like a sting. There was no denying or lying at this point, their discharge was already in progress, but those few words felt like the final nail in the coffin. “We aren’t doing anything wrong!”  
  
Jackson looked to Chris for some kind of input. There was a silence in the room he was supposed to fill, but his move wouldn’t move. There were no words for the situation, nothing at all he wanted to say or could say. Discharged. He’d lost his job. They could take Claire for this. She could be shipped off if he wasn’t employed.  
  
Discharged. Fired. Kicked out. Banned.  
  
Chris didn’t remember much of the rest of the conversation. There was more yelling between Jackson and the officer, but Chris wasn’t a part of it. Jackson promised outside of the office that this wasn’t over and that he would fix it. But Chris knew that Jackson couldn’t fix a discharge anymore than Chris could fix Jackson’s black eye. There wasn’t anything that could be done.  
  
When he tried to tell Claire, he broke down into wracking, broken sobs so violent it almost scared her to get close. He’d never cried in front of her like that. Even when their parents died, Chris had muffled his pained screams into his pillow. He cracked and couldn’t find anything to put himself back together.  
  
Jackson had to move back to California. He asked Chris to come too, but they both could tell he didn’t entirely mean it. Jackson had fought for the both of them, Chris had just accepted the shame in silence. They kissed one last time and whatever they had shared, died. That unspoken love that had once burned so strong was doused with a cold bucket of water, not even hissing as Jackson boarded his plane.  
  
Chris was left ashamed, unemployed, desperate, and worst of all, his own worst enemy.  
  
—-  
  
Chris sat in silence, his stomach nauseous from recounting the entire ordeal to Albert. Not many people knew. Claire and Barry, but that was it. He hadn’t the nerve to tell anyone else.  
  
“Chris... I’m...” Chris understood that it was hard to follow up. There wasn’t a lot right that could have been said about the situation. It was hard to talk about, but he knew it was also hard to listen to.  
  
He couldn’t bring himself to look at Albert. He knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from crying.  
  
“So that’s why you ran off. Because-“  
  
“Because I felt guilty. I didn’t learn my lesson the first time around?” His laugh was hollow- broken. Even without looking at Albert, the tears started to come. He didn’t even bother trying to hide or trying to wipe them away with his arm. He let them flow, shameful and hot, as his head hung low. “I lost my job and I was... I was _humiliated_. Everywhere I went I could feel them talking about me. I could just _see_ how disgusted my commanding officer was. And the way he said it... I felt like shit. I wanted to throw up and die. I didn’t want to be looked at ever again because I didn’t even want to look at me.”  
  
A sob escaped his throat and his eyes squeezed shut. He could see back to that time so perfectly. The worst, most clear picture he had in his brain. All his fellow men sneering and remarking about him. His commanding officer shouting. And the worst... Jackson looking hurt and betrayed.  
  
“I didn’t even say anything. I just stood there like an idiot. I felt like I deserved it. I felt disgusting.”  
  
“Chris,” He looked up and Albert’s hand was on his face, holding him to lock gazes. Albert’s eyes were sad, but flamed with passion. He looked serious, but also soft. Comforting, but also so commanding that he listened to every word. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”  
  
“But-“  
  
“People who don’t understand you will be the first to attempt to destroy your happiness. That doesn’t mean they’re right. What you had was beautiful. And natural. You weren’t hurting anyone. The problem wasn’t with you. It never was.”  
  
Chris found himself without words as Albert’s thumb wiped across his cheek, drying some of the tears that were still flowing from his eyes. He was sure the man could feel his heart hammering. No one had ever said that. Claire and Barry had comforted him, made him feel better, told him he was normal and how angry they were for him, but hearing this? It was different.  
  
“And I know you believe that, at least a little bit.” Albert’s voice was soft, comforting. It made Chris lean his face further into his touch.  
  
“I don’t know... I was scared because some stupid part of me thought maybe you kissed me because you were testing me. I thought I had doomed myself. I felt like someone was going to come out of nowhere with another pink slip and more... more guilt.”  
  
“I would never do that to you. I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t like you.” Chris felt his cheeks warm and knew he was blushing. Chris was certain of the fact he liked Albert, he’d made his peace with that. But hearing Albert reciprocate it? The possibility hadn’t occurred to him.  
  
Albert was... Albert. Sauve, handsome, smart, elegant, beautiful, perfect. Never did Chris think a man of that caliber could even blink in his same direction. Yes, he’d kissed him, but Chris hadn’t even considered the possibility there had been feelings behind it. He had been too busy wrapped up in his nightmare view of reality.  
With sudden bravery, Chris gently tugged on Albert’s arm, pulling him to join him on his small bed. He filled the space that Claire had left and laid next to him, close and warm, their eyes still locked. Their faces were close, their bodies pressed tightly together. Chris had a hand on Albert’s broad, strong chest and could feel his heartbeat.  
  
It was fast too.  
  
His hand trailed from his chest up his neck to his jaw. He traced it with his finger and laid his hand on the smooth skin of his cheek. Chris’ eyes fluttered shut and he closed the short distance between them, kissing Albert.  
  
It was soft, but tender. Deep without any kind of aggression or force. Different from their last but beautiful and perfect. If he hadn’t been laying down, Chris was sure his knees would have buckled underneath him. Albert’s hold on his body was gentle, careful not to hurt him but also wanting him close.  
  
For once, Chris didn’t feel the need to run. He didn’t feel the need to justify. To lie, to hide, to excuse, to hate himself, to punish himself. This was nice. This was what he wanted.   
  
This made him happy.   
  
_Albert_ made him happy.  
  
“I’m sorry I ran off.” His voice was barely a whisper as he murmured, his eyes still closed, against Albert’s mouth.  
  
“It’s okay. Just don’t scare me like that ever again.”


	6. Fractured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dabs back into existence.
> 
> So what’ch’y’all think of the Resident Evil 2 Remake?? Because my grades took a hit due to how much I played the shit out of it and I can’t bring myself to care. I also may have gotten some real nasty ideas for fics out of it. OopS?
> 
> I’m going to warn you guys now I’m going to change the rating on this bad boy from “Mature” to “Explicit” on the next chapter. For reasons. HUEHUE.

‘Medical trial number 5 is appearing to be another failure. Subjects are catatonic. First dose was administered at 17:00 and there have been no significant physical changes since.’

Albert’s pen scratched across the page as he scowled down at his lab book. This was the fifth time he’d tried to get some kind of reaction with this new strain, but not one of them had been the least bit successful. The constant stream of failures was starting to grate on his last nerve.

This wasn’t the norm. Especially for Albert. Having so many restarts for one single project was infuriating when he was usually successful on the first or second attempt. But never had it gone all the way up to five without a single improvement in the outcome.

Maybe he was just tired.

Antsy and frustrated, he rapped his knuckles on the glass window of the observation room, feebly attempting to make something happen. The three test subjects sitting in the room didn’t even look up. They didn’t seem like they’d even heard the noise. Albert sighed aggressively, the tip of his pen practically digging into the page as he scrawled down more notes.

‘Non-responsive. Silent. Better off being terminated.’

“Careful there, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Albert jumped and scowled at William, who had suddenly appeared at his side. His swift hand swiped Albert’s lab book and turned look over his notes. Without asking. If Birkin hadn’t come with a peace offering of much needed coffee, Albert probably would have snatched it back and told him to mind his own work. “Still struggling with T-309?”

“It needs too specific of a host.” Albert took a swig of coffee without taking his eyes off the test subject in the middle of the room on the other side of the glass, Subject F5-3. That one had looked to be the most promising too, or at least Albert would have been the happiest if F5-3 was the one to finally take it. The certain mutation of the T-virus Albert was working on promised to be stronger than the original, able to withstand more damage to its host with a slower rate of decay. It would have been perfect— if he could have gotten it to actually work.

“Hmm. Have you messed around with-“

“You have my labs in your hands. You look for yourself.” He didn’t want to look at the room or its subjects anymore. Albert tore his eyes away from the “promising” specimen who was now drooling onto the floor, gazing at the glass but staring straight through Albert. Fuck, he’d really wanted to see it work on that one too. F5-3 was a tank of a man, incredibly in shape, muscular, and dangerous to handle even without a virus inside of him.

“Okay, you don’t need to be so grouchy with me. Not my fault it’s not working.” William was still by the window, glancing between Albert’s notes and the failures in the next room. This wasn’t even William’s project. Birkin had just somehow decided that they were friends and Albert hadn’t been able to shake him since. Which somehow meant William was allowed to freely let himself into Albert’s lab without a knock on the door and invited to meddle in his work.

At least William was good for bringing him coffee. He’d actually gotten his order right this time too. Though Albert didn’t know how hard it was to fuck up a large dark roast, extra hot with two extra shots and room. For a genius, William double be an incredibly dumb man.

Albert huffed, falling silent, as he combed through the files on his computer, ignoring the mess that his desk had turned into. He was tired. The disorganization on the surface of his table was proof of that alone. He hadn’t gotten much time lately. Which was also why his experiments kept failing. But management didn’t like to even comprehend that idea, the idea that they were spread him too thin and expecting too much. If Albert hadn’t been such a perfectionist he would have let either of his projects fall through the cracks.

He sifted through the test subjects’ profiles until he landed on the big guy. Six feet and one inch, 185 pounds, non-smoker, social-only drinker, no drugs, no pre-existing health conditions and in perfect health aside from minor asthma. The picture in the top left of F5-3’s profile was smiling back at Albert. They’d taken the photo before he’d become F5-3 and forgotten his life as Calvin Arden.

“Are you getting enough sleep?” William had left his original spot and was leaning against the edge of Albert’s desk while he squinted down at a page. He flipped it towards Albert, pointing to a few culprit sentences. Snatching it, Albert looked over what William found offensive and saw disconnected, nonsensical thoughts scattered from a few days ago. “Maybe if you didn’t spend so much time with that pet of yours...”

Albert knew William was joking, but his anger flared under the surface of his skin. He had a lot of nerve coming into his office when he was busy. And now William had the audacity to make jokes about something he had zero control over.

“Spare me, William. You know as well as I do that Spencer would have a conniption if I put any less effort into the STARS job.” Albert scowled, his bad mood getting even worse when he remembered how Spencer loved to keep him imprisoned in his office while he poured over report Albert turned in. The old man loved to waste Albert’s time when he already didn’t have nearly enough of it.

And the last thing he wanted to think about or hear about was the human shaped puppy that had started following him around. Especially from William. Didn’t Birkin have a girlfriend to worry about? Or some work of his own that he could have been doing? Any better use of his time that didn’t involve bothering him with needless talk. God he was in a pissy mood.

“Lighten up. I’m teasing.” William closed Albert’s notebook and slid it back onto his desk, cutting in front of his face and locking his computer. “When was the last time you took a break? It’s past nine you know.”

No it wasn’t. It couldn’t have been. Albert pushed up the sleeve of his lab coat to check his watch only to see that William was right. Where had the time gone? He’d come to the lab straight after “work” and had gotten here only a few minutes past five. Apparently the past four hours had completely passed by without him even noticing. Frustration and exhaustion were great at time traveling.

He sighed, pushing back from his desk and rubbing at his eyes. They stung. William was annoying. Spencer was constantly breathing down his neck these days. His head hurt. But William was probably right. His tone softened as he answered, “Lunch at the office around noon.”

“Does a walk sound good?”

—-

It was colder up in the Arklay mountains than it was down in the city. Early May heat and humidity had started to creep into the STARS office and through the streets of Raccoon City, but the mountain breeze still ran chills down Albert’s spine. He guessed he’d have to leave a coat in his lab for the summer. Though he didn’t mind it. The weather up here was a lovely change of pace and was a nice little break only an hour away.

Too bad there was actual work involved the second he stepped off transport and onto the facility grounds. Albert was jealous of the researchers who weren’t leading two separate lives and could enjoy their free time in the surrounding forest. Must have been nice. 

At least Umbrella had given him a nice house to stay in during his work at the Arklay Facility. And it was pretty secluded down those back roads so it was like he could pretend. He’d even managed to make the house feel like home... even if he wasn’t there all that often.

Why did every pleasant thought have to be plagued and tainted?

Albert appreciated William’s company as they strolled in silence, the smaller man letting him have a few moments of peace and quiet. That was something Albert could admire about the other. William never really felt the need to small talk or to fill the air with words. If there wasn’t anything important to be said, he kept his mouth shut.

Albert paused at a clearing and nudged William’s elbow, signaling him to stop. There was a break in the trees at the top of the trail they were on. The cliff side overlooked everything— the mountains, the city, and the farm lands in the far, far distance. Lights from the city shined like a soft beacon down below but the only sound was that of the mountains. The dark sky was clear and it was easier to see the stars from up there. There were crickets chirping in the shadows of foliage and William jumped when an owl hooted close by. 

“Afraid of the dark, William?”

“No, just large birds with sharp talons that cough up bones after a meal.” He shivered and stood close to Albert with his arms crossed over his chest. “Nasty creatures.”

“I like them fine.” 

It sounded like a barn owl. 

Albert used to hear them all the time outside his bedroom window. They used to keep him up until he learned how to let their calls lull him to sleep. God, that seemed like a different lifetime ago. He wondered when living a segmented life would finally stop.

If Albert had ever even had one for that matter.

“You want to tell me what’s bugging you? Is it the greenhorn that’s latched onto you? Redfield, was it?” William asked while he kicked a foot through the dirt, a rock skittering off through the bushes and momentarily silencing the crickets. “He’s been pretty needy.”

Albert didn’t want to think about him. But with the way his brow crinkled when William brought Chris up, he’d obviously figured out what had been on Albert’s mind. Now William really wasn’t going to let it go. For all the reasons Albert appreciated William, he also absolutely despised him for several others.

“You sure you’re not getting too deep with that one...? I mean, you seem like you’re getting-“

“Don’t be stupid, William. We both know you’re more intelligent than that.” Albert’s voice was pure ice, dripping with venomous scorn. William flinched, obviously stung by his words, but Albert didn’t care. He was the one foolish enough to even bring it up when it was none of his business. “I’m too far along in that endeavor to back out now. You know that.”

“You’re more patient than I am.” William sounded quieter. He always took everything so personally. His ego was so fragile for someone so brilliant. “Why not someone a little more seasoned though? Or at least with a higher standing?”

“Jill isn’t a romantic and I don’t want to involve Barry unless it’s necessary. Though he’d make a good bargaining chip if it comes down to it. Joseph and Kenneth are useless and Enrico is already married. Redfield is the only one that makes sense. Besides, he gravitated to me first. It was too easy.” 

Albert’s stomach hurt. The headache that had been settled into his temples had migrated down his throat when he’d been talking. Now that coffee he’d downed on an empty stomach didn’t taste so great. Something burned. He felt like going to bed for a few days.

“Hey, Al, you’re doing good. Spencer’s an old moron, you know that. Take a breath and give yourself some slack.” William placed a hand on Albert’s shoulder and squeezed, leaning his head on top of his knuckles while he looked out at the skyline. “Besides, Redfield’s so enamored with you I’m sure he’d come crawling right back if you disappeared for a few days. He’s going to do what you say regardless.”

“Hmm.”

“Al, I’m serious.” The smaller man spun Albert to face him with both hands on his shoulders, trying to be comforting but it was almost laughable. William was so clueless, it took his mind off of things. He was so obviously socially stunted. Even fresh off having his pride bruised and fishing around in Albert’s head, he was still trying to praise him. How sweet. “Everything is going to go fine. I can’t say... everything I want to, but it’s all going to go off fine. You’re going above and beyond to make sure that happens. And besides, I’m here too. I can help if you need it.”

Did William really not realize the position he was putting himself in? He was so obedient and so willing. Birkin was so high and mighty with everyone else, but the way he bent to Albert was almost laughable. He wondered if William would ask “how high” when he commanded “jump”. William seemed like he’d do just about anything Albert asked. He was always finding excuses to barge into Albert’s office, always giving him little lingering touches, always looking at him with those stupid, big, blue adoring eyes that screamed and begged for praise. He wanted his approval. Albert was the person he’d been — now knowingly — pitted against; when had William taken joy in the loser’s position?

Regardless of when, ever since William had stopped fighting Albert and started working with him, he’d become so docile and so eager to please. It was almost endearing the way a finally trained puppy wanted treats and attention.

“I should thank you then, shouldn’t I? For being such a help to me.” Albert’s hands slid over William’s slender hips and guided their frames together, easily pulling the man forward. William’s face was almost cute. His cheeks were already a flaming red the second his chest bumped against Albert’s, making the few freckles on his cheeks start to stand out. But he didn’t argue. Only waited with shallow breath to see what Albert would do next.

He was waiting to be led. 

“What... did you have in mind...?” Albert had never heard William’s voice so quiet before. Birkin was a nervous creature by nature, but that usually pushed him to yell at and insult whatever was bothering him. Not submit belly up in the arms of his anxiety. William was just full of surprises that night, even if he did have a lack of initiative or imagination. 

Instead of answering with words, Albert tipped William’s chin up with a knuckle and pressed their lips firm together, not surprised when he felt just how quickly William kissed him back. Those long looks and all the times he’d hung around Albert too long weren’t without notice. Albert rewarded him for being so quick on the uptake by sliding his hand around William’s head to cradle the back of the man’s neck.

“Don’t you have a girl you like? And you’re kissing men in the dark woods.” Albert laughed softly in the short distance between them and nipped at William’s bottom lip, keeping him close. “Naughty boy.”

“It’s... it’s fine.” Oh wow, his voice was shaking. Had Albert just really never noticed how absolutely enamored with him William was? How long had William been wanting this to happen? Well... who could blame him? Albert wasn’t unaware of his own features and certainly knew how charming he could be. Why feign insecurity when acknowledging his appeal let him use it to his advantage? 

Like he was now.

Glancing behind William to assure he wouldn’t send him tumbling backwards over brush, he led him up against a tree, now being free to take this as far as he wanted. It was dark and no one was going to come walking by anytime soon. William didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing them, not like Albert cared. 

William’s lips felt warm and a little chapped against his, but parted oh so willingly when Albert offered even the slightest bit of tongue. It didn’t take much to make William moan as he was kept pinned to the rough bark of the tree. Albert holding his head in place by gripping tufts of soft, honey blonde hair and pressing a knee hard between his legs, letting William gasp and moan into his mouth. He was already coming undone and Albert had barely done anything. 

“Have you been deprived of attention? Is that the problem?” Albert purred next to William’s ear and ground his thigh up between William’s thighs, feeling the starts of a hard on pressing through the man’s work slacks. Albert had to keep himself from laughing when William started wriggling against his leg, getting harder and moaning louder.

“Please, more.” 

All sorts of nasty images filled Albert’s heads. The different ways he could have twisted William’s body and how wide Albert could have gotten his legs apart. William wasn’t bad looking. He wasn’t Adonis, but he was cute in his own way. The way he was hungrily kissing Albert and moaning into his mouth as their tongues pressed together gave Albert the idea William would be at least decent at giving head. The way he moved his hips against Albert was a little awkward, but he could work with that. William didn’t need to do any work for Albert to fuck him. As long as he could keep his knees from buckling and hands pressed against the tree, that would work fine.

And besides, William was asking for it. Literally. Panting and begging against Albert’s mouth while raking his fingers through his hair in a desperate attempt to pull him as close as possible asking for it.What a slut. What a whore. What a needy little...

This was doing nothing for Albert.

He was completely soft even though William was begging him to fuck him. Or to at least touch him. It would have been easy. Albert could have gotten off and left William to jerk off by himself. He could have told William to suck him off and gone home for the night probably satisfied.

But it just felt... off.

William didn’t feel good in his hands. Albert didn’t have any desire to keep going with the endeavor even though William seemed willing to lay down in the dirt if he asked. His freckles were ugly. His eyes reminded him of a polluted sky. William already liked someone and Albert didn’t want to have to deal with him after this. 

Albert sighed against William and pulled away, patting him on the shoulder before turning away from him. He’d changed his mind. This didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel bad either, it just felt like nothing. Though he supposed William was expecting an explanation or an apology. He would get neither.

“I’m exhausted.” That was all he had to offer William before tossing an inquisitive look back over his shoulder. He waited to see what the doctor would do. It was pathetic that William simply reigned himself in and followed after Albert, confused whether or not to ask what the hell just happened. Everything had been going fine and then Albert shut it all down. William didn’t shout or get angry or ask what the fuck was wrong with him. He just took it.

God that pissed him off. The whole day had pissed him off. He was tired and he had a headache. The experiments hadn’t been working, STARS was far too much to juggle— and he couldn’t get fucking Redfield out of his damn head. That stupid, clingy puppy. That absolutely idiotic doe eyed, moronic, all too trustworthy rookie who sought out far too much praise. He could have strangled him. He could have thrown him straight off the cliff if he was given he chance. 

And Chris had to go and get himself into an accident that made him all the much more... needy. All that much more dependent. He had to go and hurt himself when running away from Albert like a coward and force himself right back into Albert’s life. How the hell did he even do it? How the fuck did Chris, of all people, manage to worm his way into his life beyond his original plans?

“Is... everything okay?” Oh. Right. William was still there.

“I’m. Exhausted. I want to go home.” Albert didn’t care if he sounded callous and most definitely didn’t care if William was confused. If it was going to hurt him so much then he shouldn’t have kissed Albert in the first place, especially when he already had some girl he was smitten over. He didn’t owe William an explanation. All he wanted to do was sleep.

“Right. Of course.” William fell silent as he walked in time with the other, opening his mouth a few more times but producing no sound until they got back to the facility. William looked hurt if only for a moment before disappearing back into the brightness of the entry way, asking over his shoulder, “Do you want me to start a new test group for you? They could be ready for analysis by tomorrow.”

—-

It was past midnight by the time Albert got in.

Albert sighed and nearly melted against the front door once he got inside. The house was dark and quiet, but comfortably warm unlike the chilly outside. It smelled nice too. Like cinnamon and other spices mixed with the linger scent of a frequent coffee drinker. It was nice to finally be able to take his shoes off. He hadn’t even been able to change out of his STARS uniform before going to the lab. 

He left his boots by the front door and straightened the few other pairs, remarking that he really had to find some way to keep them organized before he tripped in the middle of the night. He also had to do something about the deadbolt on the front door, it kept sticking and jamming before locking all the way. Tomorrow, Albert figured, tomorrow.

Not wanting to turn on any lights, Albert paused at the entrance to the kitchen and wondered if he was hungry. No, his stomach was still a little rocky from earlier. Eating would probably only make it worse. Perhaps making oatmeal in the morning would help. Steel cut, not instant. With strawberries, even though he preferred it plain.

Albert reasoned that as a good plan as he slowly made his way up the stairs, feeling a strain in his knee that had been bothering him all day. It wasn’t the worst pain but it was enough to be annoying. Though every step up towards the second floor was sapping more and more of the last bits of energy he had. If Albert needed to wrap it, ice it, or take medicine for it, it was going to wait until the morning. At the moment, he was really only focused on collapsing into bed. The pain in his temple was only getting worse and Albert was hoping it could fix itself with some much needed sleep.

Spencer really was running him thin. Between working full time at the lab which was his chosen career and running the STARS office, there wasn’t really any time that he could spare. It had been easier a few months ago when work at the lab had been slow, but now the old man had somehow gotten the idea in his head that Albert could magically make more hours appear in the day. Albert knew he had to be patient, this was all in its beginning and budding stages, but the thought he wouldn’t have to put up with the crone’s demands much longer brought him enough motivation to stumble his way to the bed while he undressed.

A few more years, he could do that. If he didn’t have a heart attack first.

The sheets felt soft on his skin as slid into bed with a soft groan. He wasn’t even that old and he was in great shape, but things were starting to hurt more and more at the end of the day. Albert groaned softly and take a few deep breaths, trying to breathe and clear his head. He told himself each inhale was cool, crisp air that was coming in a breeze through an open window and every exhale was getting rid of William, the lab, the exhaustion, Spencer, stress. 

“Mmh... when did you get in...?” Albert’s eyes were still open and he turned his head to look at Chris, turned over to face him in bed and blinking open sleepy brown eyes. And here Albert had tried so hard not to wake him up.

“Just now. I’m sorry I woke you.” Chris had been so deep asleep when he’d crept in. Albert had even taken a second before he’d crawled under the covers to look at the man’s sleeping face. He’d looked peacefully dead to the world. Albert had been expecting to wait to talk to Chris in the morning since he’d barely even stirred when Albert had shut the bedroom door behind him. 

But it was nice to see him.

Albert rolled onto his side to face him and nestled his head to rest on the same pillow as Chris.

“It’s okay. I tried to stay up for you. Got sleepy.” Chris had a habit of talking in broken sentences when he was tired. Albert could practically hear the gears churning in the man’s brain as he tried to form full thoughts through the cloud of drowsiness. He also had a habit of forcing himself to stay awake by reading thrillers. In dim lighting no less.

“Careful, you’ll start going to bed at a reasonable hour like a normal person. Next thing I know you’ll stop forcing yourself to stay up past midnight.” Saying that reminded Albert of the differences in their ages. Albert was old enough to go to sleep when he was tired, Chris was still at that phase where he felt obligated to stay awake into the late hours of the night. It was a little funny in a way.

“I’m a night owl.” Which was so obvious from the way that he was talking with only one eye open. “What are you going to do? Tuck me in?”

Albert couldn’t help but chuckle. The way Chris was grinning told Albert he was incredibly aware of what he was insinuating. Chris kept smiling when Albert’s hand laid on the side of his cheek leaning into his touch with a happy sigh. His skin felt soft. His cheeks were warm from sleep. Even his sleep breath wasn’t all too bad.

The two of them were laying on their sides, facing one another with the blankets on Chris’s bed pulled up to both of their hips. Chris looked tired, but better than he had when he’d been in the hospital. Even with a cast on his arm and a nasty bruise over his eyebrow, Chris still looked like he was in better shape than Albert currently was. And still horrendously handsome for that matter. 

“Go back to sleep, you’re delusional.” Albert reached up and gently tousled the other’s hair, letting his hand settle on the side of Chris’s face again as it traveled down his hairline. He didn’t want to stop touching him yet. This felt nice. “And you have bed head.”

“I’m an adult, I’ll sleep when I want. Besides, I didn’t think I’d see you today.”

Chris’s voice was soft on the last few words in a way that made something in Albert’s chest tug. He’d missed him. Chris didn’t have to say it for Albert to hear it.

Chris was still stuck at home on medical leave until he was out of the cast on his arm. Albert had argued that he shouldn’t come back until he was off crutches as well — reminding him medial leave was paid — but Chris had put up a hell of a fight from his hospital bed. He said it wasn’t the money that was the issue, it was being lazy at home just waiting for his body to recover that was going to drive him insane. 

Chris felt guilty. Albert could tell. He felt guilty about how he’d gotten hurt and what had caused it. When Albert been filling out Chris’s medical leave forms, he omitted the fact that Chris was running away from his house. Chief Irons was too ignorant to make the connection between the site of the incident and Albert’s address anyway. 

Regardless, Albert had taken a further precaution and gotten Chris’s alcohol blood level wiped off the medical report. He owed a favor to a few people at Umbrella because of it, but it was worth it. The last thing Chris needed was Irons finally deciding to do his job.

Albeit small, Chris had a family to think about. And Albert didn’t want to see him forced out of the office because of a bad decision. Especially when he’d been partially responsible.

Albert’s mind drifted back to that night. How he’d been so confused when Chris had run off. How he’d been angry enough at Chris to scream and how he’d had an awful sinking in his chest. Albert had originally resigned to let Chris make his own decision, let him suffer the consequences of being stupid and... maybe hurting Albert a little. His pride of course, not his feelings. 

...Seeing the taillights of Chris’ car on the side of the road had almost made him vomit. He’d barely been breathing when Albert had held him still while the ambulance was on the way. The faint heartbeat that had been pumping through Chris’ neck was the only comfort he got until the paramedics arrived. Even then, it had a been a long few days of waiting around the hospital. Claire had refused to sleep anywhere but on Albert’s couch. The two of them had spent a lot of time together, both angry and upset about the situation but taking comfort in each other.

Albert didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to erase the second half of that night and keep the first. The first part where he’d been jet lagged and freed from a week long seclusion overseas with Spencer, but had immediately felt lighter when he’d open the door to Chris’ face. Chris had fit so perfect into his arms too and made him feel... at home.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about that kiss.”

“Which one?” Chris laughed and nipped at Albert’s hand, chasing it away from his face so he could wriggle himself closer to the blonde. His face was illuminated by the moonlight streaming in from the open window and his eyes had a soft glow in the darkness. His smile looked especially bright... and cheeky.

“The first one, mainly because I don’t think you got to do everything you wanted.”

“Give me a few days, we’ll figure something out. You know, when you don’t have to worry about sending me back to the ER.” 

What a little shit.

Albert had started to laugh and was going to speak, but Chris was suddenly kissing him. He’d closed the short distance between them, but had done it so naturally that Albert hadn’t seen it happen. It wrapped him into a spell that closed his eyes and let a soft sigh escape from his chest. His head didn’t hurt too bad anymore. Chris’s hair smelled nice. Maybe Albert had gotten a little too used to seeing him every day too. Maybe he was a little privately glad Chris insisted he come back to work by the end of May latest. It meant he wouldn’t have to wait that much longer to see Chris’ face popping into his office first thing in the morning to say hello.

Maybe when that happened on Chris’ first day back Albert would invite him out to breakfast and coffee. Maybe he wanted to see how Chris’ face would light up. 

Right now, he was content to hold Chris close and kiss him, brain in a pleasant fog and the decision to call out sick at both the office and the lab the next day already made.

“Ouch, hey, what did I just say about taking me back to the ER?” Albert hadn’t realized that he’d taken Chris completely up into his arms and was squeezing the man a little too tight. He loosened, only a little, and buried his face into Chris’s neck, feeling the other’s heartbeat against his cheek. 

“Sorry, I tend to latch on tight.” Albert closed his eyes and almost laughed at himself. He was hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y’all wanna talk about this cursed series with me hit me up @captn_royalty on twitter. I’m also going to be posting updates there too!


End file.
